


It has to be right.

by untiltheveryend03



Category: Atypical (TV 2017)
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon Lesbian Character, Crushes, F/F, F/M, Friendship/Love, Pre-Relationship, Romantic Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-29
Updated: 2018-11-14
Packaged: 2019-07-20 08:28:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 25,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16133483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/untiltheveryend03/pseuds/untiltheveryend03
Summary: This fanfic is about Casey and Izzie's relationship after the season finale and how Casey dealed with Evan and all of her new feelings about Izzie. There are other charecters as Casey's family but it's not the main thing, so... they will appear just a little.





	1. Definitely, it wasn't just a crush.

They were alone in Casey's house. It was very common now, since Sam started to go to college for some adaptation classes during summer holidays. Her mother was starting her new business and her father was working, as always.  
In the last month, Casey stopped counting how many times she had had sex with Evan. Though it wasn't a great quantity, she had bigger problems.  She thought about Izzie the entire day, except when they were together. Every single time Casey was cuddling with Evan, even after sex, Izzie appeared in her thoughts.  
After Sam's graduation night she couldn't help it. But then it became an habit and she wasn't happy at all. She felt guilty as fuck because of Evan, and beside it wasn't fair for Izzie either.

So, that afternoon, even with the house alone for them, Casey asked Evan if they could talk about something. They were cuddling in Casey's bed in silence.

“So…” he started, “what was that thing you wanted to tell me?”

Casey felt relief about he began the conversation, and the best part was he didn’t try to do any jokes. But, anyway, she felt sick. Trying to avoid the sensation of an imminent heart attack she said “Yeah… about that… I need you to listen to me, carefully and calmly.”

“Ok”

“I have been… worried about something that’s only happening in my head… maybe?”

Evan looked at her confused, but he let her talk.

“It’s like… I have some shit to figure it out, and I don’t know where can I begin. But I do know I have to deal with it, and I have to do it alone.”

Casey made a long pause, so Evan felt free to say “I don’t get what are you talking about.”

“I’ve been having feelings for someone else, Evan.” She said with her voice cracked, and finally looked at him, to find how he took it. He just swallowed hard and she saw how something broke inside him. “The problem is… I still love you, and I don’t want to break up with you, but I’m not going to do that to you. I can’t…” the tears in her eyes were about to come out.

“You… ehm... do you want us to break up?” he asked with puppy eyes, trying to sound calm.

“No, but it’s just not fair to you… imagine having a girlfriend who has feelings for another person too.  It’s nonsense.”

“But we can fix it… I mean, am I doing something wrong?

“No, no, no.” Casey rushed to answer, she put a hand in his cheek, "I don't have any problem with you, ok? It’s just me. You are a perfect boyfriend, who has a shitty girlfriend. I’m so sorry, Evan.”

“You are not a shitty girlfriend. What are you talking about, Casey?” he asked her with a strange expression in his face. He sighed and look at the ceiling.

“I want to tell you who is-”

“No, there’s no need.” He cut her off.

“Yes. I need it.”

“It’s not going to change anything…”

“Yes, Evan. It’s going to make you realise it’s not your fault at all.”

“It's not that douchebag Nate, right?” he asked worried, looking at her again.

“No” said Casey with a little smile, “No!” she repeated after thought about him. “How do you believe I’m going to have feelings for that asshole?”

Evan shrugged, “Who is he, then? Do I know him?”

“It’s not _he_... “ Casey looked down for a moment still with tears in her eyes, and then she forced herself to look in the eyes to her boyfriend. “It’s _she_.”

She looked guilty, like she did something with Izzie.

Evan went completely silent, with a blank expression in his eyes. He looked at the ceiling once more and then, Casey heard a really low “It’s Izzie… right?”

“Yes… Izzie.” answered Casey in the same tone. “Tell me something, please.” She asked after a few minutes in silence.

“I don’t know what to say… I don’t want to lose you, Casey.”

“I don’t want it either, but when I’m with you I think about her. And when I’m with Izzie, I think about you.” She was about to cry “I don't know! I don't know why is happening this to me. To us! You are the best boyfriend I could ever ask for. Any girl actually, and you fell in love with an idiot like me! You deserve better. I know that, but everytime I'm with her it's more difficult to hide my feelings away.  And it's like I'm cheating on you.

“Something happened with her?”

“NO!” She screamed. “I will never do that to you, or to anyone.”

“Well, you are not an idiot, Case. You are a beautiful person and… it's not like you asked for. Maybe, if you have some time… You will find out what you want.”

Casey was so thankful with him for not saying that her feelings for Izzie will disappear in a few weeks.

“I can wait for you. I will…” he continued while he took her hand.

“I can't ask you to do that. It's not fair… or right.”

“I know you aren't asking me for anything. I want to do it. Because I love you… I'm still your boyfriend,” that's all she could take. The tears were streaming all over her face wetting Evan's shirt. “and I wanna be there for you.”

“But I cannot promise you anything,” she said sobbing “I don't know what am I going to decide.”

“I know, I know. I'm not gonna push you or anything. But maybe… I don't know, Casey. Maybe it's just a crush?” He asked softly, only because he wanted to have some hope.

“Yeah, maybe…” Casey said to comforting him, she couldn't hurt him more for that day.

And a part of her was so afraid that wasn't just a crush, maybe if she said it out loud it would be true. She were so sad, and the fact that Evan understood it so well and calmly made her feel even worse.

“Thank you,” she said smiling at him. “you are always so patient with me. I don't deserve it.”

“It's not your fault, Casey. I mean… I'm not happy, of course. But it's not your fault. And you have to know I'm not gonna give up on us, until you tell me so at least.”

“Okay, but please, don't have any hopes.”

“I'm gonna try it.”

They smiled sadly to each other while he wiped out the tears almost dry in Casey's face.

“Well, I think I'm gonna leave you alone, is that right?”

“Yes, are you going to be fine? You can stay here for a little while…”

“There's no need. I wanna take a walk.”

He kissed her on her head and then walked out Casey's room closing the door carefully. Casey sighed and put her hands in her face. She just wanted to disappeared and stop thinking. Her phone rang when she received a new message. Casey took it and when she read the name 'Izzie’ smiled immediately and at the same time she felt guilty as usual for it.

It definitely wasn't just a crush.

 

* * *

 

A month had happened since that night. Since the moment that definitely changed something inside Casey.

They were holding hands without looking at each other. And when Casey finally could talk, Izzie cut her off.

“Izzie…”

“I know, it's okay, Case.”

She only used her real name when it was a serious thing. Casey felt how Izzie let her hand go and in that moment, she knew it was the worst thing she ever felt.

“Hey,” started Izzie in a cheerful tone, just to pretend everything was good between them. “You have to tell me about Sam's speech.”

“Yeah…” Casey said a little bit confused.

“I think it's better to go home, it's getting late so tell me while we come back. But tell me everything.”

Casey started the car trying to look normal around her. Mostly because she was acting like nothing happened.

  
  
And now there she were. Laying in the bed with her phone in her hands reading Izzie's message.

“Hello, stranger!”

Casey read those two words like fifty times. Izzie was right, she hadn't seen her in like four days. Mostly because in the last few days she made up a lot of excuses to be alone. She wanted to think but in the end she decided she had to talk with Evan. Anyway, she wasn't willing to tell Izzie about her feelings for her. Maybe if she got drunk again with that expensive vodka.

“Hey, what’s up?” She texted back trying to sound relax.

“What is your excuse for today? Did you break a nail, maybe?”

“Actually, I was thinking to call for a doctor, I cannot feel my ears!” But then she sent another message.

“What do you wanna do?”

Talk to her was so easy, she doesn’t have to think what she wanna said, it was like the words went out by itself.

“Don't know. I'm like super bored here...”

“Me too. Wanna hang out? We can build another fort tonight.”

“Ok. We have a deal, Newton.”

Casey smiled like the teenage she was, allowing herself to be happy only for a moment. Until she realized they were going to be alone again that night. She hoped nothing ‘weird’ happen between them again, because she won’t be able to contain herself. Being with Izzie in the last weeks demanded so much self control.

But it won’t happen anything, she promised herself in silence. She would have to do it. Not only for her, but for Evan and Izzie too.

 

* * *

 

Despite Casey spent four days avoiding Izzie, she was desperate to hang out with her and that made Casey felt weird and afraid of what could happen. Especially, that night when they were going to sleep in a fort made of blankets, sheets and pillows, just the two of them.

But when she heard the doorbell and knew Izzie was outside waiting, she couldn't help it and went running to open the door.

They had dinner with Casey's parents and Sam. Casey loved how much her brother liked Izzie. And of course she liked him as well. The only problem was that makes everything more complicated for Casey. Even though he always liked Evan as well, with Izzie it was something more special. They could talk about animals and biology. Sam had a connection with her, he couldn't have with Evan.

After the dinner, they went to watch something boring about penguins they've already watched like five times, or that was Casey thought.

Nevertheless, Izzie was really excited and genuinely amazed with those animals and she spent the whole documentary asking questions to Sam.

Surprisingly for Casey, Sam didn't complain about Izzie's questions. Maybe because it was his fifth time watching it or it could be he always wanted to talk to someone as much as excited about this animals as him. When it finally finished, he said goodbye and went to his room.

“He is incredible.” She said still looking at Sam who was already in the stairs. “He knows a lot about animals.”

Casey was bored but Izzie's happiness was contagious.

“I know.” She replied proudly because that guy was her older brother.

“So... Are you going to build that fort or what?” she asked turning around to face Casey.

“Right, yeah. Come on. We can do it in my room…”

Izzie looked at her and raised an eyebrow.

“The fort…” Casey added stupidly.

“Yes… I didn't say anything.” Izzie shrugged pretending an innocent look but her little smile made Casey felt a little bit nervous, so she pushed her softly.

“Shut up.”

 

While Casey was picking some blankets and sheets, Izzie changed her clothes and put her own pajamas. When she came back to the room, Casey was looking inside her closet, so Izzie took advantage of her and thrown a pillow into Casey's head.

“Hey!” Casey said looking at her and returning the hit with the same pillow.

Izzie took another one and thrown it at Casey again.

But Casey couldn't catch it because she was holding two blankets, and the pillow hit her in the eye.

“Fuck!” She said, letting the blankets fall and covering her left eye with her hands. It was really painful so she pressed hard to stop the sensation. Izzie run to her feeling really guilty.

“Shit! It wasn't my intention, honey. Let me see.”

“I'm fine.” Casey said with both hands still in her eye and her face all wet because of the tears.

“You're not fine, Casey! Let me see!”

Izzie grabbed Casey's hands and forced her to put them away.

“Open” She said with her hands in Casey's face. “Open the eye, Newton.”

Casey blinked several times. She couldn't see well because of the tears. Izzie blew softly into Casey's eye to calm down the pain. They were too close again. Izzie's breath was fresh and really helped with the pain. Casey didn't feel nervous about having Izzie so close of her, probably because she was seeing everything blurry.

“Can you see? Do you want some ice?”

“I'm fine.” Casey said again laughing.

“I'm so sorry, I thought you were going to catch it. Are you sure you are okay?” asked Izzie wiping the tears out of Casey's cheek.

“Yes!” answered Casey still seeing bright dots with her left eye.

“Would you forgive me, please?”

“I'm gonna think about it, but for sure, I'm not going to build any fort now.” She said, sitting on her bed.

“Yes, you will.” Replied Izzie laughing and picking up the pillow.

“Why are you so sure?” She asked wiping the dry tears.

“Because you love me… despite everything.”

“Maybe that's what you think…” Said Casey, crossing her arms around an unfolding blanket.

“Or maybe you cannot lie to me…” Izzie replied sitting next to her, hugging the pillow.

Casey raised an eyebrow but she was too tired of hiding her feelings all the time, and she didn't feel like pretending. Not even joking.

“That's true… I cannot lie to you. And I don't want to either.”

“So… that means you are going to build the fort?”

“Only if you help me.”

Izzie jumped out the bed smiling like a child.

“Let's go!” She took Casey's hands and helped her to get up.

Casey couldn't do anything but smiled radiantly at her friend. For god's sake. She loved that girl.

 


	2. Please, don’t!

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Casey and Izzie spent the night talking inside the fort. 
> 
>  
> 
> I'm awful writing summaries. Just read it, please :)

Once the fort was built, they started to looking for a movie to watch.

“You are so going to fall asleep.” Casey said.

“I won't, I promise.”

Casey laughed ironically. “I don't believe you, besides if you want to sleep, there's no need to watch any movie.”

“Ok. But I don't want to sleep!”

Izzie grabbed the laptop out of Casey's lap and closed it. She put it away and then looked at Casey. They were so close that she could noticed that Izzie has more freckles now, in the middle of summer.

“I wanna talk to you!” 

“Ok…” Casey said afraid because she was so near again.

She thought about Evan and the decision they made of having a time off, but that didn't mean she _‘wasn't’_ with Evan anymore. Anyway, she felt how her unconscious was betraying her. And she was losing the fight. “What do you wanna talk about?” she asked swallowing hard.

“I don't know…” Izzie thought for a moment. “Oh! I didn't tell you. Yesterday I met with Nate.”

“What!” Casey felt a heat inside her stomach, thinking of Izzie getting back with that douche. 

It was a heat of rage, and that wasn't the type Izzie normally provoked in her. 

“Yeah… but on the street, you know? We met by accident, so relax…”

Casey felt more relieved but at the same time, nervous because Izzie noticed her discomfort.

“We didn’t talk. He just said hello.” Izzie shrugged and Casey rolled her eyes “I really don't care, actually.”

“I do.” Casey replied almost instantly. “He has to be blind to cheat on you.”

“Yeah, maybe. But he tried to cheat on me with  _ you _ . So… he wasn't  _ that _ blind.”

Casey just denied with her head in silence.

“It’s not about that. I mean… why are you with someone if you want to be with others?”

Casey looked at the ceiling made of blankets and sighed.

“I won't ever understand it, really.” She added without looking at Izzie. 

“I get it but… I'm not justifying Nate, ok? But we both knew we were together just to being with someone… I mean, I don't think our relationship was like yours with Evan."

Izzie said the last part quickly, just not to feel the bitterness of thinking of Casey being with her fantastic boyfriend. She liked Evan though, but she wished Casey would be single.

In the other side, Casey didn't think about telling her friend what had happened with her boyfriend a few hours ago. She would had to explain everything and she wasn't ready to talk to Izzie about her feelings for her. No, god. She wasn't ready at all.

“Yeah, maybe… but Nate is not the only douche in this world. Look at my mom...” 

Casey wanted to say: _“Look at me. Dying inside for kissing you, while Evan gave me time to think. And take the right decision, whatever it is.”_ But of course, she couldn't.

“Well… your mother made a mistake.”

“Banging the bartender it's not a mistake...” Casey looked at her raising an eyebrow. “Maybe a kiss is a mistake, but you can regret before having sex. I mean, it's not like _‘oops we already did it’_ , it takes some time. She could had regretted like a million times.”

Izzie laughed and said “It’s funny how you say it, sorry... but I get your point.”

“I know the problem was specially with my dad or their marriage, in general. But we are like… collateral damage and sometimes I cannot see her as my mom… I just see her as a cheater woman. You know?”

“That happens to me with my mom, too. Some days I only see her as an idiot woman who lets men ruin her life and her children's. I see her as a drug addict and... okay, my dad left us and of course it wasn't her fault. But she let that defined her life. And I cannot see myself letting a man, or anyone else, ruin my life or my children's…”

 

Casey was silent for a moment. After the first fort, they hadn't talked anymore about Izzie’s family. Specially about her father. But she had to ask her something.

“What would you say to your father if you met him? I don't know, like you met Nate.”

“Woah…” Izzie sighed, looked at the blanket ceiling for a moment and then turned over to Casey. The movement was fast and they were closer now, looking at each other's eyes. Of course they didn't care, they were having a really deep conversation to think about something like that. 

“I thought about that _all the time_ when I was a child. But now… I don't even know if I could recognise him. And I'm sure he can't recognise _me_ at all… but supposing we met and that stuff, I don't know. I don't have anything to tell him, actually. 

It's just a dick who abandoned his family. So I don't think he deserves any words from me. He's not my father at all… you know what I mean, right?”

“Yeah, I get it. And… it's a shitty situation but I'm glad you don't have the desire to meet him or anything like that. Because he doesn't deserve to meet you, Iz.”

“Of course he doesn't deserve to know he has a flawless daughter.” said Izzie joking, making Casey smiled. “Sometimes… I miss him. I'm not gonna lie to you, but I miss the person who was before leaving. And then… when I remember what he did, the feelings dissapear…”

Casey caressed Izzie's shoulder and got closer to her instinctively.  

“My family is a particular case, I know…” said laughing a little and wiping a tiny tear she has in the left eye's corner.

“I wanna tell you something… not only to make you feel better, is just I wanna share this with you.” Said Casey suddenly. “My father left us for some time.”

Izzie opened her eyes a little, really surprised to hear something like that.

“Yeah… when they knew Sam has autism, my dad couldn't stand it. So he left us.”

“Wow, I didn't know…”

“I didn't remember it, because I was like five or something. I discovered it a few months ago, while we were looking at my family albums with Evan... 

So, sometimes I suppose my mom couldn't recover of that, and that's the reason she banged that guy.” Casey rolled her eyes. “I'm not justifying her but I prefer to believe that. I think it’s better than thinking that your mom acted like a horny teenager.”

“Oh my God, Casey! I don’t wanna imagine your mother acting like that!”

“Me neither, trust me…” she said quickly chuckling. “I’m sorry, it’s just so easy to talk to you, it’s like thinking out loud.” 

“Yeah, I feel the same...” said Izzie smiling, “Wow, parents can be really shitty people sometimes, right?”

“Yep.” Said Casey laughing a little.

“I have to ask you something, though…” she said after a while.

Casey suddenly tensed beside her friend, but the question had nothing to do with their relationship. It was a really good question, actually.

“How can your dad be your favourite parent, when you know he left you behind? Even if it was for a short time? I mean, I like your dad, I think he is a really good man, and he let me in, after I was such a bitch with her daughter but…” Izzie shrugged with confusion in her face.

“I get it, I… I just don’t know. I don't think about it, actually… because I didn't remember at all. So I don’t have an actual memory about that time and I can’t feel the rage I felt when I saw my mom kissing that asshole. 

I mean, it was awful when I found out. But, maybe…” Casey was looking at the ceiling, thinking about that. Suddenly, she turned around to met Izzie’s dark and beautiful eyes staring at her. 

“I had no choice, you know?” She asked suddenly. “When I was born everything was mostly normal, like on the TV. A lovely couple with their own house. Two childrens, a boy and a girl… We were pretty normal.  

But then, doctors diagnosed Sam. And I was four, so… I couldn’t run to anywhere else, plus I didn’t understand anything. So, we can say, I was born with this kind of family, you know? I always had Sam and I don’t remember how is it to live with a ‘normal’ brother.” said Casey using air-quotes. “And, of course, I love him madly. You know that...”

Izzie was looking at her all the time, listening very carefully. Because she needed to listen the answer. Not because she wanted the secret formula to forgave her own dad, but Casey’s answer would change everything forever. She could fell crazily in love with her in an instant. And Izzie knew if that happened, it wouldn’t be any return. 

“The thing is…” Casey continued. “I didn’t know running away was a choice. I had no expectations about my brother… but my dad dreamed about his life. So I suppose it has to be hard as fuck to hear a lot of doctors saying your son has autism. You know his life won’t ever be normal. 

I’m not justifying him either. Because my mom stayed with us, so it wasn’t impossible. And, even though I love Sam, there a lot of days I want to leave this place too. And I wouldn't do it, even if I can.

But when they knew about Sam, the doctors told them it was going to be really difficult. Maybe he couldn’t even go to a normal school. And look at him now. He is about to go to college… I’m giving you some speech, huh?” Casey said trying to stop the seriousness around them.

“Please, go on. You didn’t answer my question yet.”

Casey smiled slightly and continued.

“Well, I had never been in my parent’s place, you know… as a mother. And… I know I won’t run away if that happens to me, but I suppose he felt incapable of dealing with something like that. Again, I’m not justifying him, because he left my mother alone in the same situation. But after that, he came back and he is such a great dad now… it was cowardice. And, the thing is I've been in my mother’s place.” Casey said thinking about their forehead promise in her room, and that night in the car holding hands together.

“And… it’s not the same. Life is not challenging you in the same level, at all. You can’t compare fucking a random guy, with having a children with autism. 

You know what I mean? It's not I don’t love my mom. Despite she is totally annoying, I do love her. 

But, maybe seeing her kissing another guy affected me so much, because she always did the right thing. I mean, I never expect anything from anyone. Except her. And I would never imagined she would let me down that badly. So, if she did something like that, imagine the rest of us, that we are simple mortals...”

“So…” Izzie started after realising her friend had finished. “are you admitting you are not being entirely fair with your mother?”

“Yeah… in some point. I know it, but I cannot help it.” Casey shrugged. “I know leaving your family is worse than cheating on your husband… but, sadly, I can understand more to my dad.  Because if I saw her, Sam could too. Imagine if Sam found out my mom kissing another man who is not his father? We don’t know what is he capable of, but he had really bad crisis for much less.”

“Really? I didn’t know that.” 

“Yeah, so if you’re gonna bang another man that it’s not your husband, at least be smart and hide it well.” 

Their friendship growth a lot in just a few minutes. They never been this close before, and not only physically talking. 

Izzie nod with her head still processing everything Casey told her. And finally she said “Ok, I can see your point. Actually, for not thinking about it before, you have strong opinions.”

Casey smiled and almost laugh. But then she remembered Izzie’s question, and she felt the girl deserved an apology.

“I’m sorry for understand someone who left his family… I mean…”

“Don’t worry, it’s not the same at all. I asked you because I didn’t know everything you told me now. And I understand him, too. I mean… it's really complex.” They smiled at each other and fell silent for a moment.

“Oh man,” Izzie looked at the ceiling again “I swear your forts are magical.” She turned to meet Casey's smile. They were so close now, they could hear their breaths and feel their perfumes. “I could talk to you like, forever. You know?”

Casey's smile widened. And yes, Casey gave her the perfect answer, and now Izzie was totally sure those feelings weren’t just any stupid crush.

“Me too, dude. Better than a movie, right?”

“Million times better than my favourite movie, Newton… Do you think we'll have a normal family one day?”

“I hope so… but at least with you I don't feel alone anymore.”

They looked at each other deeply for a moment, in complete silence. Then, Izzie took courage and put her hand in Casey's cheek, who holded her breath. Their eyes were glowing like never before under the flashlight dim light. Casey's heart was about to explode, she knew it would happen if she didn't stopped it. She had to, for Evan and for Izzie too. It wasn't fair, it wasn't right for any of them. 

But she wanted to know how Izzie's lips tastes like, so desperately. And yet she was so afraid. She never kissed a girl before, but Izzie wasn't just a girl, Casey told herself. She was _the_ girl. And no one had made her feel that way, ever. 

Under Izzie's hand, her cheek was burning, and they were getting closer and closer. Casey knew it was bad, and if she kissed her, she would never stop. She won't be that strong. So she had to stopped it before their lips touch. Otherwise, there would be no turning back.

Her noses were touching and their eyes were closed. Suddenly, Casey said in a whisper “Please,  _ don’t! _ ”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for your comments, I really appreciate it. And please, remember english is not my first language. Like I said before, feel free to correct me and making me notice grammatical or spelling errors. It's really important to me! And forgive me for the end. I promise this is the only chapter with an ending like this. And I will publish the next one soon!


	3. Everything is going to be fine.

The words that broke that silence were terrible. Izzie heard right. Casey said “Please, don't.” making her feel like she was the most stupid person in this world. She looked at her with a new feeling that Casey didn't recognise at all in her eyes.

“Casey,” started Izzie trying to stay calm but failing miserably “I know you love Evan and all... but don't you think you are playing with me?”

“What?” Casey said, almost speechless.

“Yes! You are acting like a child! We both know what are we doing here. You don't love Evan as much as you think. Or maybe you are just too afraid of admitting that your love for him it's not as much as it has to be!”.

Casey was afraid of Izzie's speech. Because she knew the girl was going to be right about everything.

“And we did this fort and then you told me this private thing about your family, because you want it to share it with me. And I loved that, really. But that kind of things makes people feel special, you know?

And then you told me you don't feel alone anymore because I'm with you? Are you going to tell me that you don't know how I feel about you?” Izzie continued with so much rage inside her. “Friends don't have to be this close to talk about their shitty parents, friends don't make any foreheads promises and friends don't intertwine their fingers and you know what? Friends don't wanna kiss... twice! Not even once. So, I think I’m gonna leave. It’s the best for everybody.”

Izzie started to get up and Casey couldn't do anything more than grab her by the arm and forced to sit down again. She put her hand in Izzie's mouth to stop her screaming.

She didn't know Izzie could be so angry with her. Not in that way or for that reason. But of course her patience wasn't made of gold. And she was pissed off with the situation, and the worst… she was hurt.

“I know, I know.” Said Casey quickly almost in a whisper. “Please. Listen to me and stop yelling. You are going to wake everybody up. Specially Sam.”

“Let me go.” said Izzie between Casey’s fingers.

“No, you have to listen to me, first.”

Izzie didn’t say anything else, so despite she had a really terrifying look, Casey put her hand away and Izzie sighed.

“I know you love Evan. I don't need to hear it anymo-”

“Shut up!” Casey cut her off “You are right, ok? It wasn't cool what I did. But I knew…” Casey looked down. “I knew if we kissed, I couldn't stop. Ok?” she said, meeting Izzie's eyes again. “It won’t be just an innocent kiss. We both know it.”

“Of course I know. This is not a game, Casey, at least not for me.” Izzie answered raising an eyebrow.

“And it’s not a game for me either, what the fuck are you saying?”

“So?” Izzie asked almost yelling again. “Why did you stop creating stupid excuses, then? You could still avoid me if you know this could happen!”

“No, I couldn’t! That’s where you are wrong. I missed you! And I never wanted to hurt you. It's just I cannot control myself. It's true everything I said, okay?... It's so easy to talk to you and I can't choose every word I say, like really carefully. This feelings escapes from my mouth even before I try to shut them up.

This afternoon I talked to Evan, and I wasn't going to tell you, because I would have to explain why. And I didn't wanna talk about it…”

“I don't need to know what you talked about with Evan.”

“Yes, you do! Because I told him that we should break up. So shut the fuck up and listen to me!” said Casey starting to feeling really mad. Not particularly with Izzie, but the whole situation and knowing she made her favourite person felt like shit, was the worst feeling ever.

Izzie, who look more surprised now than angry, nodded in complete silence.

“I told him, and now I tell you… I have feelings for someone else, and it's not fair to be together. For anyone… But in the end, he understood everything and... we didn't broke up. Instead, he gave me time to think and make a decision. Ok? So I cannot go kissing anyone else, do you understand? I'm not single, I have some time off to think. So, if we had kissed still count as cheating.

But you don't know that and you still put me in this place. After all we talked about my mother... I thought you would understand that I’m not gonna cheat on anyone, ever…

And the other day… you told me you understand the situation and you knew I loved Evan. You didn’t let me explain anything, Izzie.”

“Yes, and I do. Of course I understand the situation, Casey.” Said Izzie getting closer again. Casey wasn't surprised at all for hearing her real name and not the typical ‘Newton’.

“But you have to admit” continued Izzie “that you say something but then you act completely different! Did you really think I don't notice the way you look at me? Internally screaming, asking for me to kiss you? C'mon Casey.” She said rolling her eyes “I can see through you, and you cannot lie to me. Wanna know why? Because I look at you the same way!”

“I know! I know!” Casey said overwhelmed with such honesty.

“And guess what?” asked Izzie laughing ironically, “if you can’t hide your feelings… what makes you think I do can pretend nothing happens to me?”

“Of course it’s not only your blame. It's just…” Casey sighed totally stressed with this. “It’s too hard to control myself when we are together like this. I know it’s wrong but a huge part of me says ‘ _Do it, do it_ ’ and that’s why I talked to Evan…

But please, don't be angry with me. I cannot lose you again, Izzie.”

The girl sighed and rolled her eyes again.

“You are not going to lose me, dork.”

“There’s something else…” continued Casey like she didn’t hear what Izzie told her. “Despite I’m in a relationship, and all that.... I don't want to kiss you being with Evan. I wouldn't forgive myself. Not just for him, but for you too. You don’t deserve that.”

“I get it…” said Izzie, with a little frustration in her voice because Casey was right but she stills wanted to kiss her, _right now_. “Just to be sure… that someone else you have feelings for, is me, right?”

“Of course, you idiot.” Answered Casey with a smile.

“Oh, for a moment I thought you loved another boy or something.” Said Izzie joking. “Please, forgive me for yelling at you. I've been such a bitch… again.”

“No, it's okay. I wanted to yell at me when I stopped you, too.. but this is why I made up a lot of excuses these days. Because I knew this was going to happen. But, like I told you… i really missed you. And besides, we made that promise to never leave each other again...”

“I'm sorry, Case.”

“It's okay, really. But there's a lot to process.”

“I know, dude. I never thought I would like a girl… until I met _you_ and your awesomeness.”

Casey smiled a little.

“Really… I’m sorry for losing my shit like that. I’m starting to lose count of how many times I treated you badly. But it’s just… I’m not used to this. I’m not talking about kissing girls… I mean...” Izzie stopped because she didn't know how to say it.

“You are not used to what, then?”

“To being rejected, I mean-”

Casey interrupted her and started to make fun of her “Ohh, I’m sorry. I’m such a beautiful girl, and _no one_ ever rejects _me_. So if I want to kiss somebody, I just do it, because I can and everybody, even girls with boyfriends wants to kiss me!”

Izzie started to laugh denying with her head “Are you finished, you idiot?”

“How this idiot can rejects me? Not even once, but _twice_!” Casey answered in a dramatically tone while Izzie was laughing so hard. “Who the hell she thinks she is?”

They started to struggle because Izzie was trying to cover Casey's mouth, but she continued “First she came to _my_ school, because she was faster than me, and I hated her for that. And then, she turns out to be an awesome girl, but she doesn’t want to kiss me!”

“Hey! Hey! You said you wanted too.”

“Of course I do, but this is _your_ stupid point of view.”

“Shut up, Newton. Let me explain.”

Casey was laughing and said “C’mon, explain yourself. Let’s see if it’s not like I said.”

“What I wanted to say,” started Izzie still laughing “was that I don’t… I’m not used to being rejected _because_ ” Izzie emphasized the last word “I never wanted to kiss anyone who was in a relationship. Ok?”

Casey looked at her and adopted her dramatically and sarcastic tone again “Oh, _look at me!_ I never wanted to kiss anyone who was in a relationship, but I kissed the rest of the mundane people I wanted to kiss, because no one rejects the beautiful and perfect Izzie.”

Izzie scratched her forehead and bit her lower lip but still with a smile in her face. She loved that dork so much.

“Ok… this is gonna take a while, right?”

“I’m sorry, that was because you threatened me with leaving me alone inside this _thing_.” Casey laughed and said pointing the fort.

Izzie laughed softly and then she said “Listen to me, dork… let’s get serious again. Did you tell Evan it was me?”

“Yes, because he started to think it was his fault. He thought he was doing something wrong and he was a bad boyfriend.”

“Oh, man.” Izzie said “He's really great.”

“Yeah, thanks for making me feel worse.”

“Sorry, it wasn't my intention. But I feel bad too.”

“Why?”

“Because I've ruined your relationship and I feel like I'm stealing her girlfriend. Even if you choose him… which is going to be okay, I mean…”

“Yeah, I get it. But it's not your fault.” Casey pretend to be thinking, put her hand in her chin and looked up. “Well… maybe if you hadn’t got angry with me instead of Nate, I would never realised you are so important to me… so, technically, yeah. It’s kinda your fault.”

“Well, finally I can stop feeling guilty for that. At least something good came out from that stupid fight.” Said Izzie smiling to Casey.

“Yeah, and we almost have another one. We are making some progress in here...” replied Casey joking making Izzie laughed a little.

But inside her, she just realized her answer. She had to choose her. Actually, she already had done it. Because it wasn't Izzie’s fault at all. Loving Evan was not the same as being in love with him. And if she really was in love with Evan, she would never fell in love with someone else.

Until that moment, she wasn’t sure if she really was in love with Izzie. Maybe she just really liked her a lot. But in the moment Izzie got so angry with her, Casey knew.

She was really afraid of losing her again, she just couldn’t. And she felt like a piece of shit for making her favourite person so unhappy.

They stopped talking for a few seconds. Just looking at each other's eyes, but this time they weren't that close, so they were safe. At least, safer than before. Izzie was silent because she was thinking about everything they had talked about. But Casey was feeling relieved in some point, because she already knew her answer.

“Do you want me to leave?” She asked suddenly. “I can go to my house and you can be alone, relax and-”

“No. Please, don't go.”

“Are you sure?” Casey looked at her with a pretty serious face. “Ok, ok. Let's go to sleep then… But if you want-”

“Shut up, Izzie!” Said Casey chuckling.

Izzie smiled softly, and both girls layed down and closed their eyes.

After like ten minutes, Casey said in a whisper “Izzie?”

Of course Izzie wasn't sleeping, not after what had happened and all the things they had confessed to each other, but she was too sleepy to talk or even open her eyes. So, she mumbled a simple “Mhm?”

“Thanks for being so patient with me.”

Izzie opened her eyes to meet a sad and stressed Casey. She wasn't surprised of her face. She felt it in her voice.

“You're so _worth_ the waiting, Newton... Can I?” Asked Izzie looking at her hand.

Casey nod slowly and Izzie didn't hesitate. She grabbed her hand and before fell asleep she said “I’m always gonna be here for you, no matter what, ok? And everything is going to be fine, Case. _I promise_.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you like it. Thanks for all of your great comments, and the kudos too. I really appreciate it :)


	4. The choice.

After that night, Casey spent a whole week trying to figure it out how to tell them her decision. She knew the both of them deserved an explanation soon.

She slept bad everyday because she could not stop dreaming about it, so she was waking up in the middle of the night like twice or even three times per day.

The last time she slept well was when Izzie took her hand the entire night. She remembered how great it felt the next morning when she woke up and saw Izzie sleeping so relaxed right next to her, still holding her hand.

The sun was shining through the walls made of the old sheets she used to build the fort. She could contemplate her as much as she wants. She was beautiful.

Little by little, Casey fell asleep again until she felt Izzie had awakened. Casey was too sleepy to open her eyes or tell her anything. She held her breath a little bit nervous . She felt how Izzie caressed her hand with her thumb. Then, she pulled her hand out really softly and got up. When Casey heard the bathroom door, she dared to open her eyes, and let go the air contained, already missing Izzie's touch.

She looked at Izzie's pillow and without moving, she told herself “ _Don't do it, dude. It's too creepy._ ” But, god, how badly she wanted to smell her perfume. Anyway, she allowed herself to close her eyes and rolled on the bed just a little closer to Izzie's side. She put her hand where the girl had slept and felt her warmth. She smiled, conscious that she would be the happiest person in the world if she could wake up everyday like that. With Izzie by her side, sleeping so calm and being oblivious to all of their problems. Casey wanted that. For her and for Izzie.

If a little tiny part of her still doubted about that wish, it evaporated when Izzie entered at the fort again. She saw Casey was awake, and a huge smile appeared in her face.

“Good morning, Newton.” She said sitting on the bed. For a second, Casey imagined Izzie leaning forward to kiss her.

Instead, she limited herself to say “Hi.” with a smile as glowing as Izzie's.

“How did you sleep?”

“Fine…” She wished she could say “ _Perfect, thanks to you._ ” But she couldn’t. Not yet, at least. Someday she would do it. She knew she would. “And you?”

“Great.”

“Glad to hear.” Casey said after staring at her in silence. At the same time, she dared to put her hand over Izzie’s. But she hadn’t the courage enough to look at her. Instead, she focused her eyes on Izzie’s hand and she started to draw tiny invisible circles with her thumb on the back of her hand.

“I…” she tried to talk. “I… want you to know… that everything I said last night… Uhm, it’s true.” Casey looked up to find Izzie’s eyes. “Every single part of it. I wasn’t lying then… and I’m not lying now.”

She couldn’t told her she had already taken a decision. She couldn’t told her she had chosen her. Not yet. First, she had to talk to Evan. She had to make it real. But Casey needed to reassert to her everything they'd talked. She needed Izzie to believe her. She needed Izzie could feel the love she had for her.

They kept staring at each other, they felt like they were living in a bubble. So far away from anything and everybody. Both girls were thinking about everything they've talked a few hours ago. Izzie’s eyes were shining dazzlingly with the morning sunshine. She smiled slowly and intertwine her fingers with Casey’s.

A really loud noise, completely strange to that situation, exploded their intimate bubble. Someone had knocked on the door. But they smiled anyway, because they knew they would have another time. Another fort, or just another bubble where they could be together, just the two of them in their own world.  

 

* * *

 

Now, she was driving to Evan's house to talk, still remembering that morning from a week ago. Casey sent him a message that morning to talk to him. So he was expecting her.  
Evan opened the door when Casey was getting off her dad's car.   
“Hey!” He said with a soft smile.   
“Hi. How are you?” She managed to ask.   
“I'm fine. Better than you, I think…”   
Casey had a really tired face. He kissed her in the cheek and Casey smiled with melancholy.   
“Just say it, Case.” He already knew her decision.   
“Oh, Evan…” She started crying and hugged him really tight. She felt like she was holding her breath since she went out to see him.   
Evan returned her hug and smell her perfume, knowing it was the last time he could do it.   
“I'm so sorry. I love you, I really do.” She said sobbing.   
“Shhh, it's okay, Casey.”   
“No! It's not okay.”   
She looked at him with her hands in his shoulders.   
“You don't deserve this, and… I'm gonna miss you like hell. You are such a great guy!”   
“But you don't love me like you love Izzie… right?” He said with no intentions to hurt her.

“I…”

“It's okay, Casey. You can say it.”

She nodded but she couldn't say it out loud. Not yet and of course, not in front of him.

“You know what?” He continued without letting her go. “I've been thinking too. And… I believe that if you have to think how you feel about me, it's because this isn't working as it has to… you know? And it's better if we are not together anymore. Because sooner or later we are going to break up. And it's better sooner cause you still love me, and if we break up in a few months… because it's gonna happen… you are going to hate me. And maybe I ended up hating you too.”

Casey was looking at him silently.  

“I love you, Case. And I want you to be happy. If it's not with me... I just don't want you to lose the opportunity to be with the person you love. Okay? Stop crying, please.” He finished his little speech chuckling because Casey was still crying.

“I can't, Evan. Why is it too hard?”

“Because you love me, I know it.” He looked at her with his sweetest smile. “But you are not in love with me. You are in love with Izzie. You have to admit it, okay?”

“I know…”

“So, promise me something.”

“What?”

“I'm gonna make things easy for you. I’m breaking up with you, okay? I am the one who is breaking up with you, so you don't have to say it. And please don't feel guilty or bad. This things happens, it's normal. And it can happen to anyone…

I'm not happy, because I'm losing you as a girlfriend… but I will recover. Because I understand you and I want the best for you, Case. I love you so much, but I love you as my friend too. You know what I mean? I want you to be the happiest girl in this world, because you deserve it.

So, go to Izzie's house and tell her how you feel about her. Like... right now.”

“I'm not gonna do that. I mean… not today. I need to be alone right now. I'm gonna miss you so much, Evan Tuba.”

“Me too, Casey. But we can still be friends, can't we?”

“Do you want… to be my friend after this?”

Evan laugh and hugged her again.

“C’mon, Casey. You didn't do it on purpose. Of course we can be friends… but maybe in a few weeks.”

Casey hugged him tightly.

“I wanna talk to you. I have so many things to tell you but… I can't yet.” She said sobbing again. “I mean, it's too hard.”

“It's okay. We can talk again whenever you need me.”

“You are… you are the most beautiful person I've ever met, Evan.” She was about to cry again.

“You are exaggerating.”

“No, I'm not! You really are.”

“Casey, look at me.” He said forcing her to look him in the eyes. “You have to calm down, ok? Everything is going to be fine!”

“How can you say that?”

“Because everything always get better after some time. Trust me!”

“But I feel like shit!”

“Why?” He asked a little bit exasperated. “I'm telling you I'm gonna be fine.”

“I know. But I feel like I ruined everything.”

“No! We cannot choose who we love. Stop torturing yourself, Jesus!” Evan said looking worried.

“It would be amazing if we can choose…”

“Yeah, but we can't. And you know what? If I could choose, I would choose you again. Even if I knew we would have the same ending.”

Casey, still sobbing hugged him for a really long time.

“Hey, you know what?” He asked.

“What?”

“I'm gonna drive you home. Yes?”

“Why?”

“You cannot drive like this, Casey.”

“Yeah, I think you are right.” She replied after a few seconds thinking.

“Of course I am.”

There were silence in the way back home. Evan drive to Casey's house in her car and when they arrived, Casey hugged him again for a few seconds.

But then she realized it was her car.

“Wait! How are you coming back to your house?”

“Oh! I don't know. I guess you'll have to take me there.” Evan raised an eyebrow. “I’m gonna take the bus, silly…”

“Oh, right.”

Evan smiled at her and caressed her cheek.

“Ok, let's go.” He said returning the keys to Casey and getting off the car. “Well, you're safe at home. Take a nap and calm down. Do it for me.”

Casey was no longer crying and she tried to nod with a little smile in her face.

“Ok, I will. I promise. Please, don't be a stranger.”

“Of course not. It's probably I will have to live in your house for a while, because Beth will kill me when she knows we broke up.”

“You can come here whenever you want.” Answered her with an authentic smile this time.

Evan smiled tenderly at her and said “Uhm… don't take me wrong but… I would like having a goodbye kiss… if it's possible. Don't think this is gonna change everything I told you before. I mean… I won't have any hopes to be together again…”

Casey didn't said anything. She wanted to. As a closure thing. So she got closer to him and kissed him softly. With all the feelings she had stuck inside her and couldn't told him because of the continuous crying.

Nevertheless, the goodbye wasn't harder than the rest, but it was another painful moment for both of them.

Casey entered in her house and stayed against the door for a little while. Thank god she was alone, at least for a few hours, until Sam came from his adaptation class.

After a few minutes, she took courage and went to take a bath.

Like she told him, she wasn't going to tell anything to Izzie. At least not that day. She spent the entire afternoon in her room, doing nothing at all. Not even answered her messages. Once Sam came home, she silenced her phone.

Casey wasn't in the mood to deal with anything from anyone, though it was a relief everything what Evan told her.

But now, a relationship with Izzie or whatever this would be, was a really possibility. So, she was afraid of something new. What if this thing with Izzie won't work? No, it couldn't happen. Because being with Izzie felt so right. But what? She was going to have a girlfriend now? She couldn't think about this anymore, so she went to annoy Sam.

She knocked on the door and Sam let her pass.

“What are you doing?”

“I'm watching-”

“Something boring.” Finished Casey for him and rolled her eyes. “Can I join?”

“Yes, but if you don't talk.”

Casey laid in his bed beside him and put her head in the pillow. She fell asleep after two minutes. She was still sad because of Evan and afraid because of Izzie's situation, but that day she finally stop feeling that huge weight upon her shoulders.

“Casey, wake up! You've missed it.”

“What?” She asked sleepy.

“That’s why you weren't annoying me.”

“Sorry, Sam. I haven't sleep well this week.”

“Why?”

Casey decided to tell him. Sooner or later he was going to find out, right?

“Because… I broke up with Evan today.”

“Why?” he repeated. “Did he do anything wrong?”

“No… I like someone else.” Casey couldn't said she was in love out loud. Because she wasn't sure yet but, above all, because she knew Sam. And she knew he would start to ask a lot of questions about her feelings.

“Someone else? It's Izzie?”

“What! How did you know? Mom told you!”

“Told me what?”

“How did you know?” she repeated.

“Told me what, Casey?”

She knew she had to answer him. Otherwise the conversation will enter on an infinite loop.

“Nothing, you weirdo. It's between mom and I. How did you know it was Izzie?”

“Because you do all the things Paige and Zahid taught me about girlfriends...” He said shrugging. “Izzie is cool.”

“You really think so?” She asked, a little afraid.

“Yeah…”

“And don't you mind that she is… a girl?”

“Why?” He looked at her confused. “ _Do you_?”

“Uhm…” Casey thought about the answer. “No, of course not. I mean… I didn't know I liked girls. So, it's a little bit confusing. But I don't mind...”

“Then... why should I care if she's a girl or not? As long as she behaves and don't be annoying, it's fine.”

Casey chuckled softly.

“I really like her. She is interested in penguins and she can distinguish Edison is a tortoise. And you can't.”

“Because both of you are such nerds.” Replied Casey rolling her eyes, but then she went serious again “Do you really think it's fine?”

“Yes.” Sam shrugged. “And she loves you back?”

“I suppose so.”

“You have to be sure. Why are you supposing?”

“I'm not gonna tell you, it's too private.”

“I can give you my list if you are not sure.”

“What list?”

“The list I have to know if a chick is interested on me. I wrote it with Zahid.”

“Oh, _that_ list… no, Sam. Thank you but I will be fine.”

“I can give it to you until you discovered if she's-”

“No! Really it's fine. And listen to me! You cannot say anything to anyone. Ok?”

“Why not?”

“Because I haven't talked to anyone. Except Evan.”

“Why not?”

“Because it's too soon. I didn't even talk to dad.” She didn't know why, because obviously it was going to be easier than that time when she told him she had kissed a boy. First of all, Izzie wasn't the first one. Second, he already knew her and he liked her. And the third reason, but not less important to his dad, she wouldn't get pregnant by accident. But, nevertheless, she hadn't found the right moment to tell him anything.

“I'm gonna tell you when you can speak freely, right?” Casey added.

“Ok. And what about Paige?”

“I will kill you if you tell anybody. Specially Paige.”

“Fine, but you have to talk to Izzie. She has the right to know.”

“I will, but not just yet. That's why I don't want you to say anything. It's a secret between you and I.”

“You should have told me it was a secret first. I know they only have one rule. Don't tell anyone.”

“Exactly.” Replied Casey knowing that not all the secrets are like that. But that was too complex even for neurotypicals.

“Maybe later, if you want, I can lend you the base's list.”

“What's that?” She asked a little bit intrigued.

“There are three bases before the home run. First kiss, second boobs, third-”

“Oh my god, shut up!” She interrupted him blushing, but he continued.

“Third base, private parts.”

“Shut up! Shut up! Shut up!”

“And the home run is sex.”

Casey hide her face in her hands and said “Ok, Sam. Thank you. I really appreciate your master class about chicks. I should have gone to Sharice's first. I knew it.”

“You’re welcome. You can go to Sharice's tomorrow. Come on, the dinner must be ready.”

Sam went out of his room and she laughed amazed and ashamed. He always surprise her. Then she followed him downstairs.

 

* * *

 

Like Sam told her, Casey went to see Sharice next day. And lucky for her, their conversation was nothing to do with Sam's lists.

Sharice was shocked when Casey told her about Izzie, but only for two seconds. Then she said “Oh my god, what a relief!”

“What? Why?”

“This explains a lot about her attitudes to you!" She continued talking more to herself than to Casey. "And that's why you were so sad when you stopped talking… definitely, I won't have a clue about what's  going on with you… ever.”

“But why is it a relief?” Said Casey confused but with a smile on her face.

“Oh, because I thought I would have to kill her for stealing me my best friend! But now… well it's different. Because you love her as something else.”

Casey laughed so hard. She wasn't expect that reaction. Not even from her best friend.

“You are an idiot!”

“I know, but this idiot won't have to murder her. Unless, she hurts you. Of course…”

“No… I don't think so.”

“Well, be careful. I mean, she treated you like shit before.”

“I know, but… last year when Clayton offered me the scholarship-”

“You are right.” Said Sharice quickly cutting her off, she put her hands in the air with an innocent look. “Let's give her another chance.”

“Thank you.”

Casey was happy and relieved, she thought Sharice would be tougher with Izzie. But she accepted the news really well.

“You know what, Casey?”

Casey looked at her waiting for the answer to her rhetorical question.

“I always thought Evan was an awesome guy, but he wasn't for you. I mean… you looked like really good friends, but just that… even best friends, but he wasn't the love of your life. I don't know how to explain it.”

“Yeah, I get your point. But… why didn't you tell me anything before?”

“I'm your best friend. But you never told me you had doubts about him. And also you never had a fight and he always was a really good boyfriend… so, I couldn't say anything to you. I mean... You have to see it by yourself. Otherwise, you wouldn't notice anything weird…”

“Yeah, but still… you are my best friend, Sharice. I didn't know you thought that.”

“Yes, but…  I'm seeing things from the outside. And anyway, he's a really great guy.”

“Yes, he is… and now I know we couldn't be together for much longer. With Izzie… is really different. I mean, I've had never feel this way with Evan. And before her, I thought the love was just that. I mean, I loved him but not as it has to be…”

Sharice was truly happy about this Casey and Izzie thing and hugged her when she told her about her doubts with Izzie's feelings for her.

“Bitch, that girl is totally in love with you. Trust me.” She told her, making her laugh.

Then, they spent the whole afternoon talking about Sharice’s platonic boyfriends from Newton. Like they used to do a few months ago, when they attended at the same school. Nothing had changed between them, and Casey couldn’t be more grateful with her best friend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter has a little part dedicated to Izzie and Casey but I had to do it like this. From now on, the chapters will be longer and it's going to be a lot of Cazzie content. I promise :) Hope you like it anyway, and thanks for all of your comments and kudos.


	5. We can run away together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and bookmarks and stuff, but specially to iLiv because she is a really nice person who is helping me with grammatical errors!   
> I hope you enjoy the chapter :) have a nice week!

After breaking up with Evan, Casey took some time to be alone. She was avoiding Izzie again. But the good thing was Izzie didn't try to visit her either. They talked a little everyday but nothing more, and Casey suspected Izzie was understanding in giving her some space. Of course she didn't tell her about Evan. She wanted to do face to face, not through messages. But Casey didn't feel ready until that morning. So, she took her phone and looked for Izzie’s chat.

"Hey! Wanna go for an ice cream with me?”

Izzie answered her right away, “I haven't had any breakfast yet.”

“Me neither...”

“Ok, you convinced me.”

“I'll pick you up :)”

“Hurry up. I'm hungry!”

 

Casey changed her clothes, brushed her teeth and went downstairs.

“Breakfast is ready, Casey.” Said her mother smiling. 

“I'm going out.”

“Now? Where are you going?”

“Yes, now! I'm gonna pick up Izzie.”

“Finally.” Said Sam who was drawing and knew her sister didn't see her friend in two weeks.

Casey blushed a little but she continued talking to her mother, pretending she didn’t hear her brother.

“We’re gonna have some breakfast together.”

“Ok… have fun.”

 

Casey went out the house faster than usual. Izzie was waiting for her sitting on the porch. Casey smiled while she was parking because she haven't seen the girl in a really long time, or at least it felt like it. Izzie was amazing to be so early. She was wearing shorts, a really nice jacket and sunglasses.

“I'm starving.” said Izzie getting in the car as a friendly greeting.

“Good morning to you too, Izzie. I'm excellent, thanks for asking.”

“So… why is this suddenly desire for an ice cream?” asked Izzie ignoring her.

“Actually, I wanted to talk to you more than an ice cream.”

“Yeah, me too. I haven't seen you in a while, dude…”

Both girls were reminded of that morning when they woke up still holding each other's hands. That was the last time they were together.

“I thought you were avoiding me...” said Casey joking.

“Well… that's kinda true.”

“What?” She looked at her really surprised. “Are you serious?” Izzie shrugged.

“I wanted to give you some time alone. You know, and not making you feel bad with any kind of pressure… or confusing you.”

That wasn't the whole truth. The other side of the story was that Izzie was terribly afraid of repeating the fort situation again. The main reason was Casey, yes, but she couldn't stand being rejected again. Plus, she didn't want to suppress all of her feelings for Casey anymore. And those days she didn't feel able to be around Casey. Not to mention her family's situation was awful again.

“Really? I thought I was imagining things.”

“So what? Did it worked?”

“Yeah… but only because I really, really needed it.” Casey looked at her after parking in the ice cream shop. “Otherwise I would miss you like hell, I mean… more than now.”  

“I know, Newton.” Said Izzie smiling and getting off the car. Casey took out the keys and followed Izzie inside.

 

They picked a table beside the window and far away from the other customers. The waiter brought their menus and when he saw Izzie, he went speechless. Casey tried hard not to laugh but Izzie didn't realise because she was already reading the menu. When the waiter was out of sight, Casey laughed so hard that Izzie looked at her with her eyes wide open.

“What are you laughing at?”

“Oh, man. You don't realise anything around you when you are hungry, right?”

“Of course not! I haven't eat anything since last night. I was about to have breakfast when you wrote me, so please let me read this shit. I'm starving to death.”

“You missed how the waiter went all nervous when he saw you!”

“What?”

“I swear. You had to see his face. It was so cute.”

Izzie rolled her eyes, the only person who she was interested in had a boyfriend and probably she didn’t make a choice yet, despite those two weeks away from her. For a few seconds, Izzie forgot about her hungry and her family, and it was replaced with fear. She wondered if Casey made her decision… What if she had chosen Evan? What she would do, then? Cry in front of her? Get mad at her, for making the wrong choice? Izzie decided not think about it and said “Okay, I know what I want. You?”

Casey thought about answering her _"I want you."_   But she couldn't do it. She wasn't bold enough. Instead, she said “Yes, an ice cream.” like it was obvious.

“It's so early for an ice cream, Newton.”

“Ok, first: it's never early for an ice cream and second: I'm the one who's gonna eat it.” 

Casey smiled at her and Izzie rolled her eyes again. She loved that girl. But the smile didn't show up on Izzie's face.

“Are you okay?” Asked Casey.

“Yes, I'm just really hungry.”

They called the waiter, who went all nervous to the table. She ordered her breakfast and let Casey ordered the flavours of her ice cream.

“God! Pretend a little, man.” Casey said when he left again, making Izzie laughed for the first time in the morning.

“Don't be mean.” 

“Well, I wanna talk to you.”

Izzie suddenly erased her smile. A little afraid of what she was going to hear. 

“Like… a week ago or so, I broke up with Evan.” 

“What? Are you for real?” Izzie took out her sunglasses. And Casey saw her eyes were really red. But she didn't ask anything. 

“Yep.” Casey said smiling with a little sadness in her eyes.

“I'm sorry to hear that.” Izzie was genuinely sorry, but of course, she was relief too.

“I'm used to it now. Actually, he broke up with me.”

“Did you have a fight or something?” Izzie asked worried.

“No, no. On the contrary, we are friends now. And he was really sweet, and told me he wants me to be happy, even if it's not with him…”

“Jeez, he is incredible. Everyone would kill for a boyfriend like him.” Thought Izzie out loud.

“What? Do you want me to go back with him?”

“No, but it's true! He's a really great guy.”

“Yeah, well it's kinda your fault I left him.” Said Casey in a joking tone. 

Izzie looked at her worried, but then laughed after she realized Casey was lying and said “Sorry to tell you my dear, but if someone makes you reconsider your relationship even without a kiss… the break up was inevitable.”

“Shut up, dummy! That’s what he said.”

Izzie laughed while the waiter was bringing Izzie's breakfast and Casey's ice cream. But suddenly she didn't feel so hungry anymore, because she was really happy now Casey was single. And her stomachache was for a totally different reason. The conversation wasn't over yet and she was nervous as hell. 

“So… I didn't tell you before because…”

“I understand, Case. Don't worry about me, the most important thing is that you are fine.”

Casey was nervous too, she wanted to go slowly. And have some time to be alone. Or maybe just to forget Evan and start something new with Izzie without any pressure. But she was hoping Izzie gave her that space without talking about it, because she didn't know if it was going to be capable of rejected her again. 

At least, it's was going to be hard as fuck with Izzie looking that gorgeous. Izzie looked up after finishing her first pancake and caught Casey looking at her. 

“Hey! Are you going to eat that ice cream or you ordered it to see how it melts down?”

“What?”

“Your ice cream, Newton!”

“Oh! Right.”

 

They spent the morning together, and then Izzie had to go to look after her siblings, so Casey took her home. 

"Are you sure you are okay?” Asked Casey again parking the car in front of Izzie's house.

“Yes. And you?”

“Yeah. I'm fine…” Casey didn't believe her but she gave Izzie some space.

Before the girl get off the car, Casey hugged her. Without saying anything, Izzie understood it was a signal for her to wait a little bit longer. 

Surprisingly to both of them, now that Casey was single, they didn’t feel any rush to kiss the other. Because they knew, even without talking about it, that someday they would be together. And now, they could enjoy hanging out without feeling guilty at all.

 

* * *

 

 

When Casey came home she thought she would be alone, so she was going to her bedroom when she heard her mom in the kitchen, asking “Hi! How was the breakfast?”

Casey took a deep breath and called her, “Mom, come here.”

When Elsa went there a little bit worried because of Casey's tone, she was already sitting in the stairs waiting for her. “What’s going on, honey?” she asked sitting right next to her, in the same step.

“Nothing… I’m gonna tell you something because, well you’ll know someday, so… Please don’t interrupt me, ok?” Elsa nodded. “Last week Evan and I broke up. _But_ …” She added quickly, before her mother could say anything. “I’m fine, it was me who asked him for a break up… I mean, now I’m fine. Because… I don’t feel guilty anymore of hangin’ out with Izzie… The thing is, he understood me and he wants me to be happy.” Casey shrugged without knowing how to tell her the rest of the story. But they both knew something else, so Casey stopped talking wishing her mother came out with the Izzie subject. 

“Oh, honey! Why didn’t you tell me anything?” Casey shrugged again.

“I didn’t talk to anyone else, just Sam and Sharice…” 

“Are you sure you are all right?”

“Yes! I told you.” Answered losing the little patience she had with her mom.

“Ok… and what about Izzie?”

“What about her?” She asked trying not to sound desperate to talk about her.

“C’mon, Casey. You know what I’m asking you. It’s fine if you don’t wanna tell me… I’m not gonna push you.”

“I told her today… and I don’t know, mom. She was weird… even before telling her.” She rolled her eyes out, a little bit frustrated with the talk. Not because of her mom, but because she didn’t like to talk about feelings with anyone. Not even with her dad.

“Ok… I think you did good, Casey. And I couldn’t be more proud of you. Above all, because you are not like me.” 

Casey didn’t know how to answer to that. She didn't wanna fight with her. So, she just continued staring at the door.

“What if nothing happens with Izzie and me, after all?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… there’s a lot to process. And I always felt that I couldn’t bring any other problem to this house. Because we have a lot already. And now… I don’t know. When I’m with her it feels so right, but the people…”

“Fuck the people.” Elsa said surprising Casey. 

“What?” she asked looking at her mom.

“Fuck the people, Casey. Who cares about them? If you are thinking that you having a girlfriend will bring us more problems or whatever… you are wrong. It's not like that. Not in this house, Casey.”

Casey didn’t say anything. She couldn’t.

“Did you tell Sam about Izzie?”

“Yeah.”

“And what did he say?”

“He said he really liked her, and I should tell her everything. And it’s awesome if she feels the same about me.”

“I’m not asking you because Sam’s opinion is the only important thing in here. I’m asking you because if a person, like Sam who has autism, and you know all that it takes, can totally understand it… why not the others? Fuck them if they don't.” 

Casey smiled a little, feeling better.

“Look, sweetheart. I know Izzie loves you-”

“How do you know?” she asked almost desperately, because that was the other thing she afraid the most.

“Because when she looks at you, her eyes shine. It’s the same way your father used to looked at me… And I know how it feels to lose the person loves you the most, and I’m not gonna let you do that to yourself. There’s nothing more important than love. And you two have something special. It’s the same if it’s two girls, two boys. We don’t care, and if we do… fuck us too.”

Casey chuckled a little feeling more relieved. 

“It’s normal to be scared, Casey. But don’t you dare push this girl out of your life just because you are a little afraid. Ok? I know my opinion means very little to you now, and I've accepted that you won’t forgive me for what I did to this family, and it’s okay… I deserve it, but always remember that you make me prouder every day.”

Casey thought for a moment and then she said “Mom?... I’m gonna do something and then we are going back to normal, ok? I’m serious.”

Elsa looked confused at her daughter but she didn’t give her time to ask. Suddenly, Casey hugged her and said “I forgive you.” and then she looked at her mom in the eyes to demonstrate she was saying the true. 

Elsa was staring at her with tears and with the question “Why?” implicit in her eyes. 

“I was talking to Izzie the other day. And you know I’ve had the opportunity to cheat on Evan… I don’t know what could have happened if you wouldn't had enter in my room, I know it’s not the same case but… cheating is cheating, no matter what. So it would be really hypocrite from me, if I don’t understand you a little bit more now. And besides… I forgave dad for much more.”

“But it’s not the same, what I did is wors-”

“No,” said Casey interrupting her again. “leave your family for eight months… is worst. And yeah, he came back and is a great dad… but he did it and I forgave him. Of course, because sometimes I wanna run away too. But the thing is… Izzie made me realize about something… I was not being fair with you. Maybe because I didn’t expect you to do something like that. You always do the right thing and, despite the fact that you are really annoying like 90% of the day, you are here for us. Everytime we need you, like now, so…” finished Casey rolling her eyes again.

“Oh…” said Elsa hugging her again, and for the first time in a long time, Casey accepted the embrace. “I love you so much, Casey.” 

“Me too, Elsa. But let’s go back to normal, please.” She said trying to escape her mother’s hug. 

  
  


* * *

 

 

The next day, Casey was having breakfast when she received a message from Izzie. She wanted to start practicing for the new year at Clayton. Casey answered her right away and half an hour later, the doorbell rang. Casey was still changing her clothes, so Elsa opened the door.

“Hi, Izzie. How are you? Come in. Casey is getting ready.”

The girl entered and answered to Elsa pretending a happy face. Of course, Elsa didn't buy it but she didn't say anything. She knew Casey was going to get mad if she caught her asking too much.

Casey went downstairs a few minutes later and they went outside for a run. They started to stretch and Casey received a message from her mother.

She read it immediately because it was really weird. Why didn't she tell her something two minutes ago when she was inside? 

“Is Izzie okay? She looks sad.”

“No idea. Bye.”

Casey put the phone in her pocket and looked at Izzie. Her mother was right, she didn't look well.

“Everything's fine?” She asked in a relaxed way, just not to be too obvious.

“Mhmm.” Izzie smiled at her a little. “Can we start?”

“Yeah.” The last year, when they practiced in Casey's neighborhood they did a circuit around some blocks. “Same circuit from last year?” 

“Yep.”  Izzie started to run with Casey at her side, but little by little, she was leaving her behind. She was running really fast. And she never do that. At least, not when they were warming up. 

“Izzie, wait!” Casey said realising something was wrong. But she didn't stop. So Casey started to run faster to reach her.

“Please, stop!” After one block chasing her, she finally could grab her by the arm and made her stop.

“What?” She asked almost yelling.

Both girls were panting. 

“What's wrong with you?” Casey asked, “You could have hurt yourself.” Izzie rolled her eyes. “You are not okay.”

“Yes I am. I want to practice.”

“Ok,” said Casey cutting her off. “but it's like you're running from something. You have a problem and you are not telling me. And it's okay if you don't want to, but don't lie to me.”

Izzie took a deep breath and covered her face with her hands.

“It's not that…”

“What's it then?”

“I hate bringing you my stupid problems all the time.”

Casey looked at her confused and then, she grabbed her hands and forced her to put them down.

“Are you kidding me?”

“No! It's true. It's not fair to you. It's not your job to listening to me.”

“No, it's not but I want to. I wanna be with you, Izzie. And maybe it's not fair. But… is it fair for you to deal with all of your problems alone?”

Izzie couldn't answer that. 

“I hate seeing you unhappy. And you are pushing me away just because you don't wanna bring me your problems? C'mon, dude. You are my favourite person in the world. And you cannot decide for me.”

Izzie had a really big knot in her throat. She couldn't say anything, so she just hugged her. 

Casey closed her eyes and returned the hug tighter. She felt how Izzie shaked a little because she was crying.  

“I'm sorry.” She said in Casey's ear. “It wasn't my intention to push you away.” 

“You are bad since last week, aren't you?”

Izzie looked at her and said “Yes. That's the other reason I was kind of avoiding you…”

“You are an idiot. You know that, right?” Casey asked, tucking Izzie’s hair and putting it behind her ear. Izzie nodded with a little smile.

“But… I don't like to bring to you my problems all the time.”

“Izzie! I don't care! I mean, I care because you deserve to be the happiest girl, but I don't care how many times you come to my house with another problem. C'mon, sit here.” Both sat on the street. “What happened this time?”

“Nothing new.” She answered. “Really, it was nothing compared to other times. But… sometimes I feel overwhelmed. And I think running away is the only solution.”

“Well… if you are going to run away, run away into my house. Or tell me, and we can run away together. Ok? Because my house can be pretty fucked up sometimes too...”

Izzie smiled and looked down. She put her hands in the hoodie's pocket. “That would be really nice.” Izzie rested her head in Casey's shoulder. “But we can't. You have Sam and I have my own siblings…”

“I know.” Said Casey, they were sat in silence. But she couldn't forget this feeling of being useless to Izzie. “I can't believe what you did.”

“What?”

“Really, dude. How can you think you would annoy me or… I don't know. Seriously, what? That was you real reason?”

“Yes!” Said Izzie getting up to look at her in the eyes. “You already had a lot of problems because of me.”

“What problems?”

“With Evan!”

Casey rolled her eyes and denied with her head.

“It's not your fault, you dork. And it's not the same! With Evan… I had my own shit to figure it out. But if you have a problem I want to help you, no matter what. I want to be with you, Izzie. And you didn't let me.”

They were silent for a moment again, and then Casey continued.

“I don't know why I didn't realize something was wrong… well, maybe it's because I've never thought you would do that…" she said thinking to herself. "So what? Have you been wanting to run away for two weeks?”

“Yeah…”

“Do you wanna come to sleep over to my house or are you going to tell me everything is fine?”

“I don't wanna bo-”

“I swear to god, if you say you don't wanna bother me, I will slap you. Right now.” 

Izzie laughed because she was about to say it. 

“Ok, yes. I want to… I need to.”

“Great! That's what I wanted to hear.”

“Thank you, Newton.” She said putting her head again on Casey's shoulder.

“I want to be mad at you so badly, Izzie. But I can't. You are... kind of sort of a weakness to me.” 

Casey said “kind of sort of” just not to sound too cheesy. But Izzie was her weakness in all it's glory, and she couldn't do anything to stop it. She didn't want to, either.

“I'm sorry.” Said Izzie again, without looking at her.

She put her hand out of her pocket and intertwine her fingers with Casey's. “I'm really sorry. I didn't want to you to worry.”

“It's okay. But don't do it again.”

“I won't, I promise.” She answered, squeezing Casey's hand.

“If something’s wrong, I wanna know. Ok? Even though, I cannot do anything to help you.” 

“Casey, trust me. You are the only person I want to tell everything. Even the stupidest thing… And yes, you do a lot for me. Only with being here with me, you are helping me a lot. And, really… I don’t know what I would do without you.”

“Sorry for what I'm going to say... Izzie, you are the most beautiful person I've ever met.” Casey rested her head above Izzie's. “And if your mother doesn't notice… then she is a total dick.”

Casey felt how Izzie laughed softly.

“This is going to sound totally lame…”

“I can take it. C'mon, tell me.”

“Can you be my family now?”

Casey didn't have to think her answer.

“Yeah, that’s super lame. But I thought I already was.”

They didn't have to look at each other to know that both of them were smiling brightly. 

  
  



	6. I think I'm ready.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, here I am again. Sorry if it's too long, I got excited writing this but I suppose you will understand, I mean... finally! I didn't write about Doug before, because a lot of fics did it but in the end I added something little because I received a comment asking for his reaction. So... Let me know what you think about this chapter. The next one is the end! 
> 
> Thank you for all the comments, by the way! And the kudos, of course. Hope you like it and you should listen the song (Angels, by The XX) if you don't know it! It's actually really beautiful...
> 
> Have a great weekend :D

Since that morning two weeks ago, they spent almost everyday together. The big excuse was training for the new year at Clayton.

That day, 3 blocks away from Casey’s house, Izzie wanted to play a race. And Casey accepted without thinking. The races were the best part of training with Izzie. And in that summer she won almost every time.

She began winning as usual, but then she felt like Izzie needed some happiness after the roughs weeks she had with her stupid mother's boyfriend.

She slowed down little by little until Izzie could pass her. When Izzie won, she started to scream and jump like she hadn't been doing exercise for the last two hours. She smiled at Casey glowingly.

“Come on, Newton! Are you getting older or what?”

Casey could have win but with an extra effort, she was really tired that day.

“I'm gonna have to kick you out of the team this year.”

“You would miss me so much.” She said walking directly into her house with her hands in her hips, still panting.

 

“I know you let me win.” Said Izzie once they were on the kitchen drinking water.

“No, I didn't. It's just I'm really tired today.”

“Yeah, sure. I always win after I had a fight in my house. What a coincidence…”

Izzie was looking at Casey with her know-it-all face and Casey hadn’t any other choice than roll her eyes. If she kept looking at Izzie she would have to kiss her.

“Think whatever you want, dude. I know I didn't let you win…” she said playing with the bottle of water she had in her hand. “Can I go to take a shower, or do you wanna go first?” She asked changing the subject. That day, like two weeks ago, Izzie was going to sleep over in her house.

“Go on, I'm gonna call my grandma to check out on my siblings.”

“Okay, you can use the phone.”

Casey went out the kitchen faster than ever before. Once she was in her room she relaxed a little but everyday was more difficult for her not kissing Izzie. Though she was grateful with her for not making any other move and giving her her own space and times, she would like another signal from her side. Because… what if Izzie had only a crushed on her? What if Izzie had regretted about them?

She remembered what her father told her the other day when he walked in her room.

  
  


“Hey, kiddo… can we talk?”

“Yeah, sure.” She answered closing her laptop. “What is it?”

“Nothing…” he sat on her bed. “I just wanted to know if you are okay.”

“Yes… Why?” She sat up next to him.

“Well… I don’t know. I mean… we don’t see Evan around here since a few weeks now.”

“Oh… Did mom tell you something, didn’t she?”

“Kind of,” he confessed “but only because I asked her first.”

Casey smiled a little. It was time to talk to her father.

“It’s okay… Yeah, we broke up. But I’m fine. Really.”

“Ok, can I ask why?”

Casey lift an eyebrow.

“Your mother didn’t tell me anything else. I promise.”

She took a deep breath “I started to feel things for another person… at first I thought it was only a stupid crush. Something platonic or whatever… But then the feelings never disappeared. So… I decided to broke up with him, because… you know. It wasn’t fair to any of them.”

“Oh… and how's he? I mean… did he took it well?”

“Yeah, almost better than me.” Casey smiled remembering how sweet was Evan with her.

“So… he didn't do anything wrong?”

“No, dad. He is a great guy. Trust me.”

“I know, honey. I know. And…” He said nodding. Doug had been hesitant the whole time but he had to ask. “this other person who you have feelings for… is it Izzie?”

“Mom told you!”

Doug laughed and he said “No, Casey. She didn't need to.”

“And how do you…? I mean…”

“I have eyes, you know? And maybe you don't realise it, but it's not just a friendship.”

“So… is there any problem?”

“A problem? What do you mean?”

“Well… because she is a girl?” She asked a little shy.

“No! I mean, I'm not gonna lie. It took me by surprise when I noticed it but no… I don't have any problem as long as you are happy with her.”

“Are you sure?”

“Of course, Casey.” He said laughing and hugging her. “When are you going to introduce her to us as your girlfriend?”

“Oh, dad.” She said sitting on her place again. “Shut up.”

“What?”

“We are so not going to do that. Besides… we are just friends now.”

“Really?”

“Yes! We are… taking our time. Anyway, I don't know… maybe she regretted about me or something.”

“C'mon, what are you talking about?”

“What? It's true…”

“Casey, didn't you see how she look at you? Or smile at you? Or how happy she is  _ with you _ ?”

“Yes, but… after I broke up with Evan, we never talked again about it… and, well, maybe she realized she doesn't feel anything for me in that way.”

“Or maybe… she is waiting for  _ you  _ to make the first move. Don't you think?”

Casey considered it for a few seconds “No, I don’t.”

Doug laughed and pulled her toward him with one arm. “Believe me, Casey.” He said with a smile. “I wouldn’t say anything to you if it’s not true. The last thing I want is someone to make you suffer. And I know Izzie won’t. She is waiting for you, she is giving you some space after Evan. And besides… put yourself in her place. Maybe she is terrified too.”

“Do you think so?”

“Of course! If I were you, I would do something to let her know how you feel about her… I mean, if you are ready for it.”

Casey didn’t say anything else, instead she hugged him tightly. He kissed her in the head and before leaving he said “Don’t let her waiting for much longer.”

And she was ready, right? Yes, she was or at least, she thought she was. But what she would do? How? When? There were so many questions.

Casey decided to took a shower to clear her mind. Then changed her clothes and put her favourite oversized sweater and a short. And she went barefoot downstairs to tell Izzie she could take a shower.

Izzie was still in the kitchen looking at the pictures hanging on the wall.

“You two were so cute.” Izzie said when she realized Casey was looking at her leaning on the kitchen door. She got closer to her to look the photo Izzie was talking about.

“Yeah… that was before we knew Sam has autism… how's your family?”

“You know what, Case?...” Izzie looked at her eyes, she looked definitely like she wanted to cry. “Your mom can be whatever you want, but you can't deny she is always with you and Sam…”

“I know… something happened?”

“Nothing, just the usual… sometimes I get upset because my grandma has to look after my siblings when they have a mother. You know?” Izzie started to talk faster. “And sometimes I think that one day she is going to die.”

“Oh, Iz…”

“Because it's life. Or maybe she is not capable of looking after them anymore and I have to take care of her. Which I would love to do, but what about my mother? Is she still going to be with that idiot, no matter what?”

Casey didn't know what to say but Izzie spoke first.

“Please, Newton. Don't look at me with pity.” She said with a sad smile.

“I'm not looking at you with pity. I would never do that.” Answered Casey raising an eyebrow.

“It's just frustrating. You know? Because I can't do anything for you and I hate seeing you sad.”

“Believe me, you would never imagine how much you did and you do for me.”

“If you say so... But I don't feel it's enough.”

“No. It's not enough, it's more than enough. It’s way more than any other person ever did for me.” Said Izzie with a genuine smile.

Casey went to hug her but she said “No, no, no! I'm all sweaty. I don't want you to hug me like this.”

Casey rolled her eyes and replied “Yeah, you're right. You smells like shit and you are on my kitchen, so get out of here. Go to take a shower for god's sake!”

“Really?” Izzie asked worried smelling her shirt.

“No, you idiot! I was joking.” Casey laughed and grabbed her by her shoulders, then she led the girl out of the kitchen. “But, anyway you should go, and relax a little. You’ll feel better.”

Casey laid down in her bed while Izzie entered in the bathroom to take a shower. She put some music from one of her playlists and the speakears on the shelve turned on. Casey closed her eyes to relax and a sudden thought came to her mind.  _ She was ready. _

She was falling asleep listening to her inner voice saying it, over and over, when Izzie called her. She stood up and went to the bathroom door.

“Yeah?”

“I forgot my bag downstairs, could you bring it to me, please? I have my clothes there.”

“Sure.”

Casey went downstairs, found Izzie's bag and came back in slow motion. She knocked the bathroom's door and said “Here you are, took the-”

But Izzie opened the door and Casey couldn't talk anymore. She felt an unfamiliar electricity inside her stomach which spread to the rest of her body.

Izzie was there with a towel around her body, her shoulders and neck still wet as her messy hair. Without any makeup on and yet being the most beautiful girl Casey ever saw.

“Are you okay?” Asked Izzie who had her hand stretched, ready to pick up her bag.

Casey didn't say anything. The words never came to her mouth. They were colliding in her brain and mixing with the smell of the shampoo.

She realized that, with a perfect timing,  _ Angels _ by The XX started to play on the background. And she was definitely ready. In that instance, she had the answers to all of her stupid questions.

Casey had so many things to say but she just couldn't. So she decided to act. Nothing will be more explicit than doing something about it.

“Newton?” Izzie tried to say but she couldn't finish. Casey kissed her by surprise and it felt so damn good, way better than in their imagination or even dreams.

Izzie put her hands in Casey's waist and attracted Casey’s body to her own. The kiss was soft, yet so full of feelings. When Casey put her free hand in Izzie's neck, under the wet hair, Izzie stopped kissing her and walked away just a little, so they could looked at each other. She needed to know Casey was fine and had no regrets. That it was more than just an impulsive reaction.

They didn't say anything, they didn't even smile. Both girls were too surprised by all the new feelings they never felt with anyone else. They looked at each other deeply, and after a few seconds. Casey's eyes found Izzie's lips. The girl took her bag out of Casey’s hand and thrown it away.

Without thinking Izzie put her hands in Casey's face and kiss her desperately, pushing her to the bed. Casey had to sit when her legs touched the mattress and only for a few seconds they stopped kissing again, their eyes met again but this time with a smile on their faces. Izzie pushed Casey gently, making her lay down in the bed and she started kissing her again.

They waited that moment for so long. And they knew they couldn't stop just like that. In the last few weeks, Izzie never felt the urgence to hug or to kiss her. She was fine knowing that someday, Casey was going to be ready. It was not such an impossible thing now she was single. And Casey felt the same relief. They knew someday it was going to happen but they weren’t in a rush about it.

Everything changed after that first kiss. They were feeling everything at the same time. The first fort night, the forehead promise, even the fights they had, their intertwine fingers in the car, the almost kisses, the night they slept holding hands.

The kiss was really intense, the perfume and the steam filled Casey's room. It was like they were born to be together.

Casey made a sudden move and rolled over Izzie. The girl was so skinny she didn’t have any problems to lift her up. Izzie slipped her tongue into Casey’s mouth and she put her hand in Izzie’s bared thigh and moved back and forward following the kiss’ rhythm. Izzie took a deep breath when she felt Casey's hand and then, in an instant of bravery, she put her own hand under Casey's sweater.

When she touched her back, Casey shivered. Not only for the contact but Izzie's hand was really cold. Or maybe her skin was burning. Anyway she didn't care at all. They were alone in this world and Casey couldn't stop kissing her. She kissed her in the neck making Izzie lift a little from the bed and the way she exhaled, made Casey go crazy. Izzie looked for Casey’s lips again, so she grabbed her by the neck and attracted to her. Izzie kissed her and bit Casey’s lower lip softly but, suddenly they heard someone opening the front door and they had to stopped.

_ "Hello! Is anybody home?  _ ” Casey's mother voice came from downstairs.

They looked at each other disappointed but at the same time a little shocked of what could have happened if no one would interrupted them. Casey sighed and then she got up to help Izzie and really embarrassed she said “I’m sorry.”

“I don’t.” Izzie replied laughing and then she pressed her lips against Casey's. “I think I’m going to put some clothes on.”

Casey nodded with a shy smile.

“Okay, I'm going to say hi before she come here.”

Casey made a few steps and then she said “Wait, wait!” She grabbed Izzie by her arm and made her turn around. Casey kissed her one more time and said “Hurry up! I'm not gonna stand my mom alone.”

Izzie smiled glowingly at her and said “Relax, I won't let you miss me, Newton.”

 

* * *

 

 

They spent the whole afternoon pretending in front of Casey's family nothing had happened between them. They thought they were doing it great. But the huge smiles in their faces were a little too obvious. Anyway, no one said anything. Not even Sam, who has no filters at all. Though, probably, it was because of Casey's threat.

Both girls decided to watch a movie in the living room. They were trying so hard to not even look at each other but at some point in the movie, the main character punched a guy in the face. And Izzie remembered something.

“Oh my god, Newton!” Izzie leaned on and grabbed Casey by her arm unnecessarily. Of course, Casey didn’t mind, actually she was really greatful with the touch. “We have known each other for more than half a year now, and you never told me why you punched that girl…”

“What?” Casey said clueless.

“That girl… in the other school.”

“Ooh! Cause she was a twat.” Said Casey shrugging and pausing the movie.

Izzie chuckled “C’mon, something must had happened.”

Casey rolled her eyes. “She was making fun of Beth, Evan's sister. You knew her on my birthday...” Izzie nod remembering her “Because someone, I suppose it was her, wrote the word Orca in her locker. I didn't even know Beth yet, but no one was doing anything about it. So I had to punch her… and that's how I met Evan.”

“So, you standed up for a girl you didn't even know?”

“Yeah. I had to do something. I know it wasn't the most mature thing, but… I would do it again if I have to.”

“And I treated you like if you were the bad one…”

“Yeah, well. That happens when you hear only one side of the story. Just because you decided to pretend to be a bitch with someone you haven't known yet.” Said Casey rising her eyebrows and smiling mischievously at Izzie.

“Wow, Newton. This whole time thinking you were such a badass, but you actually are a delicate flower who cannot stand injustice.” Said Izzie mocking of her but still with her hand in Casey’s arm.

“This delicate flower can punch someone in the face… so beware, dude.”

They stared at each other for a while. And then Izzie came up with a pretty bad excuse and said “Hey! I just remembered... Can you lend me that book..?”

“What?” Asked Casey totally innocent.

Izzie gave her an intended look and kicked Casey's ankle softly. “Oh, right!” She said looking funny at Izzie. “I completely forgot... come on.”

No one was paying attention to them, but still they felt like they needed an excuse to go to Casey's room. Neither Sam or Casey's parents were listening to them. Actually, they didn't even notice when the girls went out of the living room.

Once they were in Casey's room she entered first and while she was turning to face Izzie, she tried to ask “What were you talking about?”

At the same time, Izzie closed the door behind them and kissed her without thinking. And when they finally went apart, she answered “I'm sorry. I couldn't wait anymore.” Casey smiled gladly because of Izzie's idea. “I love your delicate flower side.”

“I prefer the term of  _ ‘injustice fighter’  _ , but whatever… if you are going to kiss me like that, everytime I act like a  _ 'delicate flower’  _ , I don't have any problem...”

“I'm gonna kiss you every time I can.”

“Well, you could kiss me right now but I still hear you talking…”

Izzie chuckled “Shut up, Newton.” She approached to Casey, put her hands in Casey's waist and kissed her gently. Suddenly, it became more passionate and Casey pushed Izzie gently, until she was between the door and Casey’s body. It felt so intense to be that close.

“Dinner's ready, kids!” Elsa's voice came from downstairs again.

The magical moment broke down again because of Casey's mother. She stopped kissing Izzie and put her forehead against the door, beside Izzie's head. She sighed frustrated.

“I swear to god. That woman hates me.”

Izzie laughed and before kissing her in the cheek, she said “We'll have plenty of time after dinner.”

“Oh, man! Don’t tell me that. You always eat so slow!”

“I'm gonna do the impossible to eat faster, I promise… You know what? Actually, I'm not hungry at all.” Casey smiled and gave her a little kiss before opened the door.

 

* * *

 

 

Obviously, they didn't went to bed immediately after dinner. Sam wanted to see a new documentary with Izzie. Of course, she said yes feeling honoured. They decided to watch it on the couch. Well, just Izzie and Sam, because his parents went to bed and Casey fell asleep in the first ten minutes. Izzie couldn't complain because Casey felt free to be near of Izzie now that her parents were sleeping. So, she was almost hugging her, with her arm crossed over her and her head on Izzie's shoulder.

When it ended Sam turned off the TV and looking at Izzie, he said “I really like Evan. But I like you more.”

“Thank you Sam.” Izzie smiled at the sudden confession. Casey awaken just a little because of Izzie's voice and heard her brother when he said “She is always annoying me but… I love her a lot and she's really important to me. She thinks I like you only because you know Edison is a tortoise. Which is really important, of course. But I like you more because I know she is happier with you.”

“You really think so?” Asked Izzie with emotion in her voice.

“Yes, I wouldn't say it if I don't.”

“Right." Izzie answered remembering who she was talking to. "Well... she is really important to me too, Sam. And I hope she will be happy with me as much as I am with her.” Casey felt the smile in her voice.

Sam nodded understanding her “Well, good night.”

“Good night, Sam.”

Sam went to bed leaving the two girls alone. Casey thought Izzie would wake her up immediately, but instead she stayed a few minutes in silence. Casey felt how Izzie grabbed her hand and intertwined their fingers.

“Case…” Izzie said almost whispering, when the girl was about to fell asleep again.

“C'mon… we have to go to bed.” Casey complained, like a child who don't want to get up to go to school.

“Casey, wake up…” Izzie sighed and shook softly the shoulder where Casey was resting her head. “Come on, Newton!”

“What?” She mumbled putting her head on the couch.

“Wake up! Let's go to bed.”

“To do what?” She asked with her eyes closed.

“To sleep…”

“I can stay here to do that…”

Izzie inevitably smiled and bite her lip nervously. She got closer and kissed Casey's cheek.

“Come on.” She said whispering in her ear. “We don't have to sleep if you don't wanna…”

Casey opened one eye and looked at her. “Great, because I want to watch a movie.”

She suddenly stood up and went to the stairs.

“What?” Izzie asked confused, still sitting on the couch.

“C'mon, didn't you wanna go to bed?”

“But… if you want to watch- ehm… we can watch some-”

Izzie frowned and sighed. Then denied with her head smiling because Casey was already on the stairs, so she decided to followed her to the room.

They already had changed their clothes after dinner, so Casey went for her laptop and Izzie sat on the bed.

“Do you really wanna watch a movie?”

“Yeah. We have to finish the one we started today.”

“Oh, right.” Izzie said a little disappointed while she laid down on Casey's bed. She didn't want to watch any movie, and she already missed the first part because they spent the whole movie waiting for nobody to see them just to stole a kiss from each other.

“Don't you wanna?”

“Yeah.” She lied too ashamed to remember Casey their plan to making out after dinner. “But I'm going to fall asleep before the end...”

“We'll see.” Said Casey looking for the exact part they were watching before Izzie asked her about Bailey Bennett. “There.”

Casey said, playing the movie and laying down too.

After like three minutes she asked to Izzie “Are you still awake?”

“No.” She said with her eyes closed.

Izzie was supporting her head in her palm and she was sat with her back against two pillows. So Casey sat up too, to be at her level and then she kissed her on the cheek.

“What about now?”

“Still asleep.”

Casey kissed her softly in the corner of her mouth.

“Now?”

“It's not working.”

Casey smiled and kissed her in her nose, in her forehead, in the cheek again, everywhere until she opened her eyes laughing.

“Don’t you know me, yet?” Casey asked with her smile intact. “I don't wanna watch any movie. Not today with you here.”

Izzie smiled back and kissed her but Casey stopped her.

“Wait.” She said. “Maybe it's going to sound stupid… or hypocrite after what happened today… but I wanna go slow, ok? And my family is here and-”

“I know. Me too, Newton. I have never been with a girl before, so… I wanna go slowly too. I wanna try it anyway.”

Casey smiled and caressed Izzie's cheek. Izzie put her hair behind her ear.

“Don't do that.” Said Casey suddenly.

“Why?” Izzie asked confused.

“Because you are so damn beautiful when you do that.”

Izzie laughed and Casey kissed her like she wanted to do the entire day after what happened in that exact place a few hours before.

After a while the room went really dark so they stopped making out.

“What happened?” Asked Casey rhetorically, moving the laptop's touchpad. The computer were on sleep function because the film had finished.

“Oh, no.” Izzie said. “We missed it!”

Casey laughed and looked at her.

“I think our movie was better.”

“Totally.” Izzie agreed with her while Casey turn off her laptop and put it over there.

“I told you you weren't going to fell asleep before the end.”

“That's because we didn't see the movie.”

“I don't know, but you are still awake...” said Casey laying down.

“Hey,” Izzie said remembering something as she laid down next to her. “Sam told me he likes me!” She was excited like a child with a new toy.

Casey chuckled and said “Yeah, I know. He already told me that, when I told him I liked you and stuff...”

“You didn’t tell me anything.”

Casey shrugged “I don’t know. I supposed it wasn’t a big deal.”

“It is a big deal, Newton.”

“Ok, ok... Calm down.” Casey rolled her eyes but grinning, because her favourite person cared about her brother's opinion.

“Imagine if Sam didn't like me!”

Casey couldn't imagine that. Who cannot like her? She saw the worry in Izzie's eyes for a moment. She actually was imagining it.

“You know what? Everybody likes you. Even Sharice, so…”

“Even Sharice?”

“Yes! Because now she knows that you didn’t want to steal her her best friend. So she would only kill you if you hurt me.” Izzie raised her eyebrows a little surprised. “That’s what she told me.”

Izzie blurt out into a laugh and Casey shrugged smiling.

“Well… she doesn’t have to worry about that. Because I won’t ever hurt you.”

“I know. Because I’m really important to you. And you want me to be as happy as you are with me... right?”

“You heard that?!” Izzie asked at the same time her face turned to red.

“I’m sorry.” Said Casey laughing while Izzie covered her face with the blanket. “You awakened me a little when you talked to Sam, and I heard everything.”

Casey grabbed the blanket and uncovered Izzie's face.

“That's not cool, Newton. It was a private conversation.”

“No, it wasn’t. I was right there!”

“But you were sleeping!”

“But you awakened me!”

“ _ But  _ you shouldn’t hear that!”

“ _ But…  _ you are so important to me too!”

Izzie erased her smile when she heard that.

“Really?” She asked suddenly insecure of herself.

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“I don’t know…”

“Well, you are, Izzie.” She said cuddling her. “Don’t ever doubt it, dork. And you know what? Sam’s right. I’m happier with you.”

Izzie lifted her head up, just a little to look at her in the eyes.

“I really am.” Casey answered with a tender smile before Izzie could ask her if she was being serious.

“I’m so glad to hear that, Casey.” Izzie replied with a smile too, resting her head on Casey’s shoulder again. Everytime Izzie called her by her name instead of Newton, she felt something weird in her stomach.

It was nice and her name sounded great when Izzie pronounced it. But she felt how much deep the conversation had became when Izzie called her by her real name.

They were in silence for a few minutes “So… everyone knows about us?”

“Yep… Well, they know I liked you. Because… I wasn't sure if you felt the same.”

“Are you kidding me?” Asked Izzie lifting her back from the bed and leaning on her elbow to look directly into Casey's eyes.

“No…” Casey lifted a little too. and shrugged.

Izzie frowned “Yes. You are kidding me.”

“No. I'm not.” Izzie looked like she was trying to read Casey's mind and discover she was joking. “We had never talked properly about us after the fort night… so, maybe you realized you had only a stupid crush on me.” Izzie frowned more and more with every word from Casey. “I don't know… I suppose I was being a coward.”

“Yeah! You totally were a coward, Newton. I can't believe it! I was trying to give you space… and time, after everything.”

“That's what my father told me the other day.” Casey admitted shyly.

“And he was right! Why didn't you listen to him?”

“I did! That's why I finally kissed you. Duh! But anyway I wasn't sure until… you kissed me back.” She blushed a little.

“Oh my god! My favourite person in the whole world turned out to be an idiot!”

“It’s too late to have regrets!” She replied sticking her tongue out to Izzie.

The girl laughed “I don't have any.” After kissing her tenderly, she laid down and hugged Casey again.

“So… they are okay with this?”

“Yes.”

“Cool…”

“Yes.” Casey repeated and she heard Izzie chuckling. “Are you okay with all of this?”

“Totally!”

“And you didn't tell anyone about us?”

“Only to my grandma.”

“So?”

“She was really cool about it. She doesn't care if I'm with a girl or a boy. She just want me to be happy and with someone that takes care of me. And she never liked Nate.”

“I already like her.”

“And she already likes you as well.”

“What about your mom?”

“I don't know. And I don't care, actually.”

“Do you think she will be fine?”

“I suppose so…”

“If you don’t want to talk with her alone, I can be with you… if you need me.”

“I know. But…  honestly, I don't care the things she could tell me. I suppose she won't have any problem, though...

“And if she do?” Casey asked her a little afraid with the sudden feeling of losing Izzie.

“I don't care, Case.” Izzie told her looking at her again. “I'm not gonna say that I won't be afraid as long as you are with me because it’s going to sound too fucking cheesy but… yeah. I won't be afraid as long as you are with me.”

Casey laughed and kissed her.

“Yes, that sounds really cheesy.”

“I'm not even sorry. It's your fault.”

“What!”

“Yes! You make me say those stupid things. If you weren't so cute or good to me…” she said playing with Casey's fingers and intertwining her hands.

“Ok, if you don't wanna be cheesy then I'll have to think about something. Maybe I will be a douchebag like Nate. What do you think?”

“Don't you ever dare.”

“You know I could ever do that to you, right?” Casey said laughing and hugging her tighter.

“Yes, I know.” Izzie answered squeezing Casey's hand. “So… what did your parents told you?”

They talked for like two hours before falling asleep. Despite Izzie hadn't talked to her mother yet, they were finally together. And that was reason enough to sleep with huge smiles on her faces.

 


	7. Days of you and me.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, this is the last one. I tried to make it a happy ending because I think Atypical it's just a happy show. I mean, of course you can feel sad sometimes when you watch it, but in the end it's more like a sitcom than a dramatic show... Anyway, I cannot wait for the third season! I hope you like this chapter!  
> Oh, by the way, I hate Elsa like 80% of the time (I'm pretty sure is because of the actress' face, sorry not sorry) and that's the reason I tried to make her look like that episode when she helps Casey with Sharice. So... yeah, I tried to make her pretty cool or whatever.  
> Thank you for the comments and kudos! Bye :) And please! Update your cazzies fics if you have one!  
> PS: This chapter it's cheesy as fuck, so I'm really sorry... and, actually, I don't know why because I'm the opposite of cheesy in my daily life but I couldn't help it! Listen to the song if you don't know it, it's so beautiful! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nigF1ulBCQE  
> I should be working right now, so bye!

Izzie was sitting in Casey's bed. Beside her, the girl was still asleep. It was early in the morning but Izzie couldn't sleep anymore. She had her legs crossed and stretched on the bed, her back and head against the headboard. Casey, still asleep, crossed her arm over her like an hour ago. And there she was, with her hand on Casey's arm, listening the birds chirping at dawn. All alone thinking, remembering and enjoying the peaceful week she had after the storm.

So many things had happened since she met Casey. Things she couldn't even have dreamed of.

She fell in love, she genuinely fell in love. And someone loved her back as well. She didn't feel alone anymore. And she even found a place in Casey's family.

 

Some days after that stunning afternoon when Casey finally kissed her, everything went to hell with her mother. She had a horrible fight with her.

Like she had promised to Casey, she called her immediately after shutting her bedroom door with anger and sadness.

“I had a huge fight with my mother.” She said about to cry as soon as Casey answered the call.

“I'm gonna pick you up.” Casey said without thinking. “Try to calm down, Iz.”

Casey called her again half an hour later to tell her she was park in the front of her house.

“Take me out of here.”

That was the first thing she said to Casey when she entered in the car, the girl put her hand on Izzie's knee and drove to her house in silence. Once she parked, Izzie hugged her desperately. Almost too tight, but Casey didn't care. She wanted to hug her as tight as she could. Izzie's body started to shake because of the crying.

Casey tried to shush her and after a while she calmed down, just a little bit.

“Hey… why don't we go inside?”

Izzie nodded, still crying.  


Once they entered in the house, Casey said “I'm gonna tell my mom that we are here-”

“No.” Said Izzie grabbing her hand with tears in her eyes.

Casey nodded in silence, she hated seeing her crying. “Come here.” She lead to the couch “What happened? What did she tell you?”

“It was me… I told her horrible things. It was like… I blurted out everything. I yelled at her.” Izzie couldn't continue. She started to cry again and Casey hugged her. Izzie put her head under Casey's chin. Feeling Casey's heartbeats and warmth calmed her down. Being in her arms were like a refugee to her. Casey put her hand on Izzie's hair.

“Izzie, you are a great daughter. A beautiful person and an amazing sibling. I don't know what you told her, but she is going to forgive you.” Casey said, guessing every thought in Izzie's mind.

“How do you know?”

“Because… despite everything, she is still your mother. And the most important thing is that you probably are right in everything you told her.”

“No, no.” Izzie denied quickly and sobbing. “I told her that her boyfriend was a douchebag,  and she was a loser and a failure as a woman and as a mother.”

Casey was surprised but she hugged her tighter anyway.

“You will apologize to her and she will forgive you.”

“I don't know, Casey.” Izzie sighed loudly with frustration. She went apart from Casey and looked down ashamed. “It was awful. She said some shitty things too. And I don't even remember how started. I told her about us…” Casey suddenly felt sick.

“So…?” She asked swallowing hard.

“I don't know! She just told me that she didn’t know me at all. Like I was another person. And I think I lost my shit when I heard that… I mean, of course she doesn't know me!

She doesn't know any of my siblings, either. She didn't even know that Nate and I broke up… so, imagine!”

“Try to calm down, Iz. Please.” Casey put her hand on Izzie's shoulder.

“And then we started to yell at each other… a lot.” she continued ignoring Casey's advice “And…” Izzie denied with her head, “and in the end, she told me I didn't love my siblings, that I only take care of them because is my duty. I don't know, it hadn't make any sense. But I love them. I really do.” She started crying again.

“Hey, hey… look at me.” Casey put her hands on Izzie's face and forced her to look at her in the eyes. “I know you love them as much as I love Sam. Even more. And I bet your mom told you that only because she was angry.”

Izzie denied a little and suddenly hugged her, tears streaming down her face wetting her shirt and Casey's.

“You really are the most amazing person in this world, Izzie. Don't doubt it. Not even for a second.” Said Casey, wiping her tears off her face. Though it was useless, because for every tear she wiped, three new ones fell down.

“Why can't I have a normal mother?” Izzie sobbed on Casey's shoulder. “I'm so happy with you. I don't wanna lose you.”

“What are you talking about? You are not gonna lose me.” Replied Casey grabbing her by the shoulders and forcing her to look at her. “I bet your mom will think about it. I mean… maybe she was shocked. And then she got angry with herself and she yelled at you. Because it's easier to get angry with the other person. And… if she doesn't like this… I don't care. I won't leave you, Izzie. You are stuck with me… forever. Unless you don't want me anymore, of course.”

Casey pressed her forehead against Izzie's, silently remembering her the promise to never leave each other again.

Izzie wanted to say how much she loved her. How badly she was in love with her. But she couldn't. The words were stuck in her throat. Instead, she kissed her with so much desire. Casey was shocked but she couldn't stop her. She loved that girl so much. And she hated to see her crying because of her mother. She felt powerless, she felt she couldn't make her life easier, or happier. And of course, Casey was terribly wrong, but she couldn't help herself to feel that way.

Suddenly Izzie straddled Casey, with her knees on each side of Casey’s body. Without stopping the kiss, she put her hands under Casey's shirt.

“No, Izzie. Don't do it.” Casey said firmly, finally stopping her. She looked at Izzie in the eyes, really impressed.

“Why not?” Asked Izzie and without waiting for an answer she tried to kiss her again, with one hand still in Casey's ribs and the other on the back.

“Stop it! I don't wanna do it in here. With you like this.” Izzie frowned and, at the same time, caressed Casey's skin. “Izzie…” Casey said raising an eyebrow. She took Izzie's hands and pull them out. “You don't want this either. I'm not gonna take advantage of you and-”

“Yes, I want to.” She cut her off. “And if I want to, you are not taking advantage of anything.”

“Yeah, right. Except you don't really want to... You are looking for a distraction. Something that makes you feel better. And it's not that. Not now, not in here, and certainly you won't this one to be our first time together.”

Izzie was staring at her still sitting above Casey. When she heard her talking about their first time, she looked down at their hands with their fingers intertwined. She knew she was right.

“My first time was right after I saw my mom cheating on my dad. I wasn't ready at all, and I totally messed things up. I'm not gonna let this happen again. Not to _us_.”

Casey kissed her in the forehead and then she approached to press her own against Izzie's again. “I'm not going to go anywhere, you know? We have plenty of time.” She closed her eyes. “Take a deep breath. And try to calm down. C'mon we will do it together.”

Casey breathed in, really slowly and Izzie copied her. “Case...?” She asked with her eyes still closed after a few seconds in silence.

“Mhm?” She mumbled opening her eyes and looking at her.

“Don’t take me wrong. I'm not trying to persuade you about anything.” She opened her eyes to meet Casey's. “You are right and I'm sorry for this. But I need to tell you something.”

Izzie broke the silent forehead promise. With her beautiful eyes red from crying and her face full of dry tears, she looked at her really serious. Casey didn't replied anything. She decided to wait for her to be ready.

“I… I really, really love you.” Izzie had already told Casey she loved her, but in that moment they were only friends. And she said it after making fun of Casey. But now, it was a different _'I love you'_. And not only in a romantic way, it had a deeper meaning. “Like… I never loved anyone before.” She added looking down.

Casey smiled with so much happiness inside her but a great sadness too, because Izzie was about to cry again. She tucked Izzie's hair behind her ear and rest her hand in Izzie's cheek. The girl looked up again to found Casey's eyes.

“I love you too, Izzie. And I promise you I will do the impossible for making you the happiest person in this fucked up world.”

Casey kissed her deeply and then hugged her again.

“Hey…” she said softly in her ear. “Why don't we go to the kitchen? I can make you a cup of tea…”

“That’s sounds nice.” Said Izzie sitting in her place.

 

Casey put the kettle on and asked “Do you want something to eat? Did you have dinner?”

“No. But I'm not hungry.”

“Well. Guess what? I don't care. You have to eat. A cup of tea it's not enough.”

Izzie rolled her eyes but with a smile in her face.

“Are you going to cook?”

“No way, dude.”

“Why not?”

“Because I love you, that's why. So if you don't mind… I'm gonna heat up the leftovers.”

Once Casey served the dinner to Izzie, she woke her mother up to tell her everything was fine and Izzie was going to stay.

When she came back to the kitchen, she found Izzie in front of her empty dish and with her head resting in one hand. She looked so small. Casey hugged her from behind and rest her head on Izzie's back.

“Hey, you.” She said with tender.

“Hi…” Izzie said returning the hug by grabbing Casey's arms.

“Do you wanna go to bed?”

“Please.”

 

* * *

 

 

After that awful night, Elsa made a decision. The next morning she knocked on Casey's bedroom door with a breakfast tray.

“Good morning, girls.” She said cheerful when a really confused Casey opened the door. Izzie was still stretching in the bed, wearing an oversized shirt from Casey's closet.

“How are you?” She asked directly to Izzie and then sat on the bed.

“Uhm… what are you doing mom?”

“I'm fine, Mrs. Gardner. And you?”

“Please, Izzie. Call me Elsa. Well… To be honest, I'm a little worried. Listen, honey…”

“Mom?” Casey asked frowned, still waiting on the door.

“It's just a moment, Casey.” Said Elsa without looking at her and then she continued “You are really important to Casey. And now for us too. I know you are a good kid. So… if there's anything we can do to help you, I want you to know we are here for you. If you wanna talk, we'll be here.

And the doors of this house are open for you, anytime you want. Of course, I know Casey told you so. But I wanted to make sure you hear it from me.”

Izzie was struggling with her emotions. One thing was talking to Casey, the girl who was her best friend, and hoped to be her girlfriend any day soon. A person who has her same age.

And a different thing was talking to Casey's mother. It was definitely harder. She wasn't her family and yet, there she was. Sitting right next to her, with a breakfast tray and ready to gave her all the support a mother has for her own children.

Izzie managed to say “Thank you… Elsa.” And nodded to her with a shy smile.

“I really appreciate it… and everything is going to be fine.” She added swallowing hard. Elsa smiled at her radiantly and gave her a small but comforting hug.

“Well, sorry for waking you up, but I have to go now.” She said getting up from the bed. “I hope you enjoy the breakfast, girls.”

When Elsa passed by Casey's side, her daughter smiled at her, with a sort of shy thankful gesture. Elsa kissed her on the head and said “Behave yourself, ok? I have to go.” Casey put her hand to her forehead, greeting her like a soldier does. Elsa chuckled and went downstairs. Casey smiled at Izzie and went to sit next to her. She grabbed the tray and put it in the middle.

“Casey?”

“What?” She asked with her mouth already full of cereals and her orange juice glass on her hand.

“Did you asked her to do that?”

Casey almost spat out the orange juice. “NO!” She yelled horrified. “I had no idea what she was doing. Really. And, as a matter of fact, she realized you were sad before me. You know that day when we went for a run and you started to run like Flash Gordon? Well, she asked me if everything was alright with you...”

“You know the last name of Flash? Oh my god. Where did I get into?”

“Shut up. You are just as weirdo as me.”

They genuinely laughed and then continued their breakfast.

Izzie didn't stay for too long. She decided she has to talk to her mother as soon as she can. So, she went to her house and had a civilized and too sincere conversation with her for the first time in years. Both of them ended up crying and her mother told her she was right about everything she told her. Though Izzie apologized for yelling awful things to her, it was her mother who asked her for her forgiveness first. Everything felt weird now. She wasn't expecting that. She had giving up with her parents a long time ago. But there she was. Being hugged by her sobbing mother, who had broken up with her stupid boyfriend that same morning. She promised to her daughter that she was going to change everything in their lives since that moment.

 

* * *

 

Casey hugged her tightly still sleeping. Izzie smiled at her and tried not to laugh when she remembered what happened the night before.

After they had dinner all together, Izzie asked to Sam and Casey to teach her their choreography. The one they were dancing at Casey's birthday when she arrived at the house.

“What? No way.” Casey told her immediately.

“Oh, c'mon. I want to do it with Sam.”

“Ok, do it.”

“But I have to learn it first…”

“He can teach you.”

“No, Casey. It's not the same. Come on. Let's show it to her.” Said Sam already excited.

“I'm not gonna do it.” Said Casey crossing her arms.

“Don't be a dick, Casey.” Told her father who was washing the dishes.

“Come on, I want to see it too.” Encouraged her mother.

“What are you waiting for?” Said Sam standing up, making Izzie laugh.

“Get up, Newton!”

Casey sighed loudly and rolled her eyes.

“You have to know that I'm gonna make a big effort. Just for you.” Said Casey in a low voice, just to Izzie. Then she stood up and asked to Sam “Are you ready?”

“I'm prepared. Watch it carefully, Izzie.”

They started to dance while Izzie and Casey's parents laughed. When they finished, Casey said “Ok, hope you got all the steps. Now you do it.”

“No, no. I didn't learn it yet. Come on, one more time.”

“No way, dude.” Casey laughed and went to help her mother serving the dessert. Anything to avoid dancing again.

“Come on, Izzie. It's pretty simple, actually.” Said Sam.

“Ok… I'm not as good as you. Be patient, please.”

“If Casey can do it… you too.”

“Hey, you dork. I heard that.”

“I wasn't whispering.”

Sam started to make the first steps and Izzie tried to follow him.

“Go slowly, please.” Said Izzie laughing.

“You look like dorks.” Casey said counting the spoons.

“Don't be mean. They are so sweet.” Said her mother smiling and looking at them dancing.

“Yeah, the sweetest... dorks.”

“Shut up, Newton!” Said Izzie without taking her eyes out of Sam's moves and trying to imitate him. “This isn't going well, I think.”

“No. Because you are doing it wrong!” Said Sam, already exasperated.

Casey started to laugh at Izzie “Wait, it’s not like that.” She got close to her and made the move by her side. “Did you get it?”

Izzie thought for a moment and then she said chuckling “No.”

“What? Is so easy. Look at me.”

Casey repeated the move and looked at her.

“I don’t get it.” Izzie tried to do it one more time.

“It’s pointless, Casey. She can not dance at all.”

Izzie blurted out in a laugh. “You are so right, Sam. Oh my god, it’s really hard.”

“It’s not, actually. But for you apparently it is.”

“Sam, don’t treat her like that.” Said Elsa.

“But he is right.” Replied Izzie and Casey at the same time.

“You are better at running, obviously. So… don’t try to dance anymore, please.” Said Sam sitting down at the table.

Izzie couldn’t stop laughing and at the end, everybody, included Sam was laughing. “Thank you for trying anyway, Sam.” She said wiping a tear of the corner of her eye.

“Your welcome. I won’t try it again though.”

“Fine by me.”

  


The night wasn’t over yet, and when the girls went to bed, Casey said “Come on, let’s practice that move.”

“No, because you didn’t want to dance with me before. So, now it's too late.”

“Of course I didn't want to, not in front of my parents. And not this choreography. But… now you have to get it. Otherwise, I will feel terribly guilty.”

“I won’t understand it.” Replied Izzie while Casey looked for the song on her phone.

“Not with that enthusiasm. I’m gonna help you.” Casey pressed the play button, and stood up behind Izzie. She put her hands on Izzie’s waist and made her move with the rhythm of the song. “And then, you do this thing with your arms.” She said grabbing her arms and made the next move. “And the last thing is…” she stick her body to Izzie's with her hands on Izzie's hips, and made the final part.

Izzie wasn't paying attention. She was just trying to control her heartbeats because of the proximity to Casey. “And that’s it. Well… it’s longer, but that’s the part you did it worst.”

“Worst?” asked Izzie turning around, pretending to be offended and biting her lower lip.

“Yeah.” Answered Casey without second thoughts shrugging.

“ _You_ are the worst, Newton.”

“I know… _Clayton_.” She said the last part mumbling.

“What did you just said?” Asked Izzie acting a little to look outraged.

“You heard me… Clayton.” She repeated.

“You are so getting into trouble.”

“Oh, yeah? And what are you going to do about it?” Asked Casey raising an eyebrow. Izzie moved forward to her as Casey went backwards instinctively until she reached to the bed. But it was too late to escape, Izzie started to tickle her and Casey fell down on the bed, laughing really hard. “Ok, stop it! Stop it! I take it back. Please!”

“Shh.” Said Izzie, laughing in silence. “Your family is sleeping.”

Casey grabbed her by her wrist and pull her to the bed. She gave a little cry and then laughed again. Izzie didn’t remember the last time all the puzzle pieces in her life had fit. Probably it was before her dad left them. But now, everything was perfect.

“I love you, Clayton.”

“I’m not Clayton. Shut up.”

“You are _Claytoner_ than me. That's for sure...”

Izzie rolled her eyes and sighing loudly said “I love you too, Casey.”

 

Suddenly, the atmosphere had changed. Casey still felt an itchy feeling in her stomach everytime Izzie called her by her real name. Above all in those kind of intimate situations.

Izzie put her hand on Casey's cheek and kissed her. They agreed at the beginning they wouldn’t do anything while other people were in the house. But the kiss started to get more passionate. They felt like they were alone and they certainly were ready for the rest.

Izzie's tongue felt so good inside Casey's mouth, but she wanted more. She needed more. Casey touched Izzie's leg and then moved her hand until she reached Izzie's hip. Anyway, Casey was trying to go slowly, but then Izzie bit her lip and said in a whisper “God. I want you so badly.” Casey couldn't control herself anymore and rolled over her. With her legs on Izzie's sides, she grabbed the girl by the hands and pull towards her to made her sit on the bed. She took Izzie's shirt off. Then she took off her own and threw it away.

They looked at each other deeply, and without words they knew they were prepared to continue. Casey made the first move and kissed Izzie's neck, who throw her head back shivering. She felt Casey's hands unhooking her bra and a sudden electricity exploded inside her.

Izzie kissed her again while she unbuttoned Casey's shorts. She felt Casey's hands cold against her skin. They were on her hips. And then they were raising, little by little causing her chills. She felt them in her waist. Izzie was struggling with the slowness in Casey's touch and her rush to feel her hands on every corner of her. She needed it.

She couldn't wait anymore so, without stopping the kiss, Izzie unhooked Casey's bra at the same time she felt Casey's hands in her ribs.

It was going to happen, finally. But then a sudden knock on the door made them stop right away. Thank God it came from the bathroom door.

She immediately jumped off the bed yelling “Wait!”. Casey reached to the door just in time before Sam opened it. “You cannot enter, Sam! What do you want?” She asked panting.

“Why?” They heard from the other side. “Are you two having sex?”

“No!” Casey screamed with her face turning red and Izzie covered her face to hide her laugh and at the same time her frustration with the interruption.

“Oh, you didn't reach at the home run yet?”

“Shut up! We are putting on the pajamas, you weirdo.”

“Ok…”

“What do you want?”

“Oh… right. I found the choreography explained on the internet. Step by step, with really good illustrations. So, maybe Izzie will be capable of doing it, now.”

“Ok. Pass it under the door.”

“Thank you, Sam. I will study it.” Izzie said loudly for him to hear it.

“You're welcome, Izzie. Goodnight.”

“Bye, Sam.”

“Good night. And we are going to sleep now. So you should too.” Said Casey spying through the locker. Once he came back to his bedroom, she turned around to face Izzie. Who was still stood up with her hands on her hips, looking at her.  

“Great.” Casey said sarcastically, getting closer to give her the stupid, yet so sweet, instructions.

“Oh, but he's the best. It's not his fault.”

“No. Actually it's your fault for having two left feets.”

Izzie laughed but she kept staring at the drawings.

“Can you put your pajamas on? You are distracting me.” She asked her, despite she wasn't wearing any shirt either.

“Is it really necessary?” Izzie asked frowning.

“Uhm…” Casey felt nervous suddenly. She imagined sleeping with Izzie in their underwear and blushed.

“I'm joking, Newton.” She said, crossing over the bed to reached at Casey. “I cannot sleep with you like this. I don't have that much self control.”

Casey slowly got closer to Izzie, and staring at her she added “Well... we are not sleeping yet. So…”. Izzie’s heart skipped a beat as Casey grabbed her by the waist and attracted to her.

She put her arms on Casey's shoulders. Her skin was so soft.

“You know that if we kiss again like before… we won't stop, right?” Izzie asked.

“I know.”

“So… do you want to?”

“Yes. And you?”

“Of course I want to. But your family is right outside this room. And… in second thoughts I don't wanna go being carefully to not make any suspicious noise or whatever.”

Casey chuckled softly. Izzie was right.

“I know. And besides we will have to pay attention if someone gets up… and my room doesn't have a lock.”

They looked to each other really disappointed. Izzie grabbed Casey's pajama from the floor. “Come on. Get dress, Newton.” She earned the biggest Casey's frustrated sigh in history. “I know, I know… but someday.” She kissed her softly and then she looked for her own pajama.

Casey started to put her shirt on when she realized her bra felt too loose.

“Hey! did you…?” Casey looked confused and then impressed. “When did you unhook me the bra?”

Izzie smiled proudly of herself raising an eyebrow.

“Damn. You are fast, Clayton. I'm gonna have to be careful with you.”

“Excuse me? Look who's talking. _Newton_.” She stuck her tongue out to her.

Casey laughed and sit on the bed while Izzie was folding her clothes too neatly.

“Hey! What was the home run thing that Sam said before?” She asked remembering.

“Oh. You don't wanna know. Trust me.”

“Now I'm certainly do.” Izzie said sitting next to her while Casey covered her face with one hand and bit her lip.

“The other day… when I told Sam that I like you… well, we started talking. And he has a few lists with rules. Like how can he know if a girl is interested in him and stuff.”

“I love him.” Izzie said laughing.

“Wait. You’ll change your mind. At the end, he wanted to lend me the base's list…”

“What's that?”

“He kinda traumatized me, so I remember it with his exact words. Listen, please. You will be a wiser girl now.”

“For god's sake. Say it.”

“First base is kissing. Second boobs-” Izzie burst into laughter and Casey couldn't continue.

“Hey, listen to me. You wanted to know.”

“Ok, ok. Tell me the rest. I think I will handle it.” She said once she calmed down.

“Third base, intimate parts.” Said Casey raising her eyebrows with her best know-it-all face she added “And home run… sex.”

“Oh my god!” Izzie said laughing loudly again.

“Shh.” Casey said covering Izzie’s mouth.

“I'm sorry, I’m sorry. He's just amazing. And the way he asked you if we didn't get the home run.” Casey laughed with her. She was right, Sam was amazing indeed.

“Well, we are definitely reaching second base, Newton.”

Casey denied with her head still smiling. “Maybe one day we'll make a home run. If this people stop interrupting us.”

“The other day you told me we will have plenty of time.”

“Yes, we do.” Casey kissed her tenderly on the lips.

“Oh! I love this song.” said Izzie after Casey stood up to turn off the lights.

The playlist on Casey's phone was still playing music in shuffle. “I didn't know you liked Pearl Jam.”

“Well… I didn't know you liked them. I just love a couple of songs, though. Like this one… come here.”

Casey grabbed her by the shirt forcing her to stood up and pulled Izzie towards her body. She put her hands on her waist again.  

“What are you up to, Newton?” Asked Izzie with a smile.

“You said I didn't want to dance with you. But I do.”

Izzie smiled and grabbed Casey's left hand. Then she rested her head on Casey's shoulder and mumbled “I'm so happy right now.”

Casey didn't say anything but she smiled while they were swaying at the _‘Future days’_ rhythm.

“Despite we haven't reach the home run yet.”

“Shut up, dork.” Casey said laughing softly. “I love you.”

In response, Izzie hummed the chorus with her head still resting on the girl's shoulder. Casey knew she didn't need anything else in the world.

 

* * *

 

 

Izzie was unconsciously humming the song again while she was drawing an invisible patron in Casey’s arm. After a while the girl awakened and realized that Izzie was awake and singing.

“Hey…” She said in greeting.

“Hello, gorgeous.” Replied Izzie looking at her with a huge smile.

“Come here, hug me.” Casey asked mumbling sleepy.

Izzie slipped on the bed a little to cuddle her.

“What time is it?”

“Uhm… I don’t know.” Izzie took her phone “It’s 6.30”

“What? It’s too early and it’s saturday. Why are you awake?” Asked Casey whit her head resting on Izzie’s shoulder and her eyes closed.

“I don’t know… I couldn’t sleep anymore.”

“Are you okay?” She asked, worried this time.

“Never better.”

Casey looked at her frowning but still hugging her.

“I don’t know, everything’s is going perfect. My mom, my siblings, us.”

“And that’s not, like… the biggest reason to be relaxed and sleep amazingly?”

“Yeah… but I hadn’t been this happy for a long time. And… I kinda forgot how it felt.”

Casey looked at her for a moment and then she smiled a little bit sad.

“It’s pretty overwhelming but… It’s just I’m fine. I’m really fine.”

“I’m glad to hear it, Iz. I really am.”

“You know what, Newton?” She asked. “I was thinking about everything that had happened between us. And… uhm… I love you, you already know that.” Izzie stopped hugging her, slipped down a little bit more, until she was at Casey’s level. And continued “And I’m madly in love with you. I haven’t told you that. I mean it was implicit but I am deeply in love with you. So… I was thinking that maybe… if you want, someday we can put a name to our relationship. Of course, only if you want to. And… I don’t know, we could be girlfriends.”

Casey was pretty serious until she realized that Izzie finished her ridiculous speech. Then she smiled tenderly and asked “ _Someday?_ ”

“Uhm… yeah....” Izzie doubted.

“You know what I think?” Izzie denied with her head, afraid of what Casey would said to her. “I think you are being incredibly coward. I can’t believe how you chickened out at the end.”

“What?”

“Someday?” She asked again. “I’m gonna say it for you, so… you can stop embarrassing yourself with… you know, this cowardly attitude.”

“Excuse me?” Asked Izzie raising an eyebrow but with a smile on her face.

“Izzie, do you wanna be my girlfriend? Like… _since now._ ”

Izzie laughed and leaned on to Casey. “You are an idiot. And yes. I want to be your girlfriend, starting now.”

“I’m not the one who said ‘someday’. When you clearly want to say another word.”

“I know… but maybe you didn’t want to…”

Casey rolled her eyes. “Shut up, Clayton.”

“Stop that. And yes, I chickened out but you didn't ask me until I came up with the subject…”

“I was hoping you didn't realize I'm the biggest coward in here.”

Izzie smiled and Casey gave her a little kiss.

“Well… I was waiting for your birthday but…” she shrugged. “It’s a nice occasion too.”

She turned around a looked for something in her bedside table. “It’s nothing actually. And it’s kinda lame.”

“I bet not.”

“Oh, I forgot. Uhm.. this is not a present.” Said Casey still looking for the gift. “There you are.” She said to no one in particular. “Well… I have two things.” She said when she faced Izzie again. “This one it’s just a stupid thing I bought for you… It’s nothing actually.”

Izzie took the little bag and she opened it. Inside was a toothbrush.

“Are you trying to say that I have bad breath… or that I have to brush my teeth more often?” Izzie asked frowning.

“No, you dork. It’s for you. You know, to leave it here so you don’t have to bring yours everytime you came to sleep. Because the other day you forgot it and… well. Told you it was just something stupid.” Said Casey shyly.

“No! It’s not! It’s the most beautiful toothbrush I’ve ever saw.” Replied Izzie, really moving for he girlfriend’s gesture. Casey shrugged pretending it wasn't a big deal.

“And this is your birthday’s present… the lame one.”

Izzie laughed softly and opened the tiny box.

“Oh my God, Casey. It’s beautiful.” Izzie took the necklace carefully. The silver charm was a little sneaker with wings.

“You really like it?”

“Yes!”

“I have the other one.”

“What?”

“The other sneaker… because you know, people usually have two feets.” Casey added making Izzie laugh. She showed her the palm where she was holding her own necklace.

“It's even more beautiful now.” Izzie told her with her free hand in her chest, keeping her eyes on the charm. “It's like that dude from mythology…”

“Yeah, Hermes. But, of course, I bought it because we run and that stuff...”

“I love it. I won't ever take it off.” She said already putting on the necklace.

“Don't you think it's kinda lame?”

“ _You_ are lame, Newton. Come on, put it yours!” She repeated glowing.

Casey obeyed her while Izzie smiled still contemplating her own necklace.

“I love it!” She repeated and then she grabbed Casey by her face and shook her. “And I love more my gorgeous, awesome girlfriend.”

Casey laughed and said “Let me go, you weirdo.”

“I realize now… I didn't bought you anything for your birthday.”

Casey shrugged. “You came to apologize to me. And that was better than anything else.”

Izzie kissed her and then she rest her head on Casey’s chest when the girl hugged her.

“I’m so happy that Clayton had given you that scholarship.”

Casey hugged her tightly and laughed a little.

"Me too."

After a few minutes in silence, she suspected that Izzie fell asleep.

“Izzie?” She asked softly. “Yep… you awakened me and now you fall asleep. Awesome.” Said Casey to herself. Then she kissed Izzie’s head and tried to fall asleep again. Like Izzie promised her on their second fort, everything was going to be fine someday. And that day finally came.

 

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you like it and sorry if I have grammatical errors. English is not my native language, and I corrected everychapter like 10 times but... I'm still learning, so please feel free to making me notice those errors, I want to get better. Not only for the fic, of course! And if you have any other suggestions, please do it. I'd love to read your opinions! Thank you :)


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